I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now. I think it all started by being severely bullied in middle school and high school. It took a lot for me to trust anyone as I was bullied by my closest friends at the time. They purposefully left me out of things and made me feel inferior. I think I still do that now but in reverse. I push others out to make myself feel inferior as this is what I am used to. I’m used to feeling in second place. Same with the guy I have been talking to on and off. He dates other girls and has a long term relationship however he still strings me along and I accept it because I am used to feeling inferior.
I recently moved out on my own and all I feel is loneliness. All of my friends are in long term relationships and I never have been and I feel as though something is wrong with me. I tell myself that I’m not worthy of people caring about me and believe this wholeheartedly. My low self esteem topped with my anxiety about everything and everyone is slowly ruining my life and pushing away those who care about me the most.
If anyone can offer some help or advice, I would appreciate it.