Unsure where to start

[Summer-love]

I have never “posted” about my struggles. It has always been more of a personal battle, or when in therapy, something I disclosed behind closed doors. I have been battling depression for what seems like my entire life. As with most, it is a roller coaster of ups and downs. I feel I am in a downward spiral now. I have been off meds for well over 2 years and prefer to stay that way. Some days are better than others. It is those days that you just don’t want to get out of bed, or would rather find a hole to crawl into.... it’s hard to keep a smile on my face at work. I know I am isolating myself. I thought maybe some kind of support group would help. I need to do something.

[All_alone]

Welcome to the group summer-love. I'm relatively new here and have found it very supporting.

[4sure]

Hi. I'm new also. My depression returned when I went off a med that was supposed to boost an antidepressant. I think meds might have messed up my brain! You're fortunate to be off them. Though of course if you really need something then use it but just be super careful what you take because some can be awful to come off of. Welcome.

[reaThua9]

Hi , I'm sorry you're struggling so much with this right now. You mentioned "when you're in therapy," are you not seeing a therapist currently? Has therapy helped in the past?

[Summer-love in reply to reaThua9]

I was in therapy on and off for years. It is hard to find someone that I connect to. Right now, my work consumes a lot of my time so trying to block time for therapy is difficult.

I go kayaking. I find peace being able to be in the quiet. I used to go hiking a lot but I am currently unable to do that.

[reaThua9 in reply to Summer-love]

That's great that you've taught yourself coping methods, and that you know you do well in the quiet. I play music, and that helps calm and settle my mind.

You also mentioned a support group and being afraid of isolating yourself -- have you thought of finding a local church? That could honestly solve both of those problems, and I know my church family can be such an encouragement when I'm down.