I hate my life

[Bellis1982]

I feel like dying. I hate my life and i just wanna die. I dont like myself and i dont want to be here. If it werent for my son i would have killed myself by now

[Starrlight]

I can understand as I have been there recently and am still trying to get to a better place. I have 3 sons and like you they are the first I think of when it comes to why not to go through with it. We stay strong for them. I usually don’t want to be here but there are beautiful moments we can recall to remind us of the light we search for and are often seemingly lacking...but the light is still with us no matter how dark it gets. I am so sorry you are suffering so badly. Please know I and others are here for you. Please keep writing, reaching out, taking care the best you can.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

I agree with Gagvic, help is out there.

[deea21]

Hey Bellies. You wrote that or I did? Life is ugly and has its ups and downs. The best part is that is a circle of good and bad. It can’t be all just bad. It’s the part you want to see it. I tried to kill myself so many times but I’m still here. Sometimes I was too coward, sometimes somebody found me and I end in in a hospital. But I know that those times I was on the edge was amazing. You know why? Because I’ve seen the sun again. I didn’t want it, but I was obligated. I understand how you feel, I’m in the same stage from time to time. I know how it feels that you can’t even die, but that’s good. It force you to live. You don’t like yourself because you choose to. I’m sure you’re an interesting person. The problem is this society. I don’t know what’s you problem, but surely not an equation you made it. Don’t let others to make you feel bad. I’m here for you. These feelings comes and pass. If you had a boxing sack would made you relieve the pain. I do that for a while when I’m on the edge and calms me down. Hey, don’t give up. You are needed! Hugs

[Bellis1982 in reply to deea21]

I really appreciate that. Im having a hard time going through divorce. We were married 3 years and together 5. She cheated on me and lied and this is the second relationship ive been in where i got cheated on and im so distraught. This time around there is a child involved. I had no kids with my ex before her, but with my wife, we share a 3 year old son. I love him so much and i know all of this is affecting him in a negative way. That adds to my stress and depression immensely. Im just ready to be done with this world and its non monogamous society. All i want is to have a loyal and faithful wife to come home to and provide for. But apparently thats too much to ask. Even from god. Im so bitter and angry over this

[deea21 in reply to Bellis1982]

I’m really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately society it’s too open minded this days. I’m afraid of that thing too , but in the end if my husband is that low he don’t deserve me. I’m a women, and because I am faithful I know you can find one to love you for a life time. I was raised in a world where you fix things not throw them that fast. I know this days it’s easier to give up then to try to communicate and fix it. But if your wife don’t want you anymore be happy you got rid of a person who isn’t at your level. I know it’s hard with all this and anxiety, by you need to be strong for your kid. I know that you’re right, your kid would be affected unfortunately. But he’s not the only child in this world and if your relationship with your wife when dealing with the child would be good, he can grow nicely. I’m not a professional but I thought that my husband will divorce me for a couple of months and I tried to read everything I can to help my kid to grow in a healthy environment. I’m here with you and if you need it you can write me anytime you want. Big hug