i hate it here so much honestly. i can picture myself out of this earth. i really do not want to be here. i have already lost both parents so i really do not have a hope of being here. everyone treats me like shit and i dont talk back because i have no more energy to fight. i dont know if i am going left or right. i am so tense up . i spoke to a friend about my depression and it was throw in my face so now i am scared to talk about it. no one understands me at all and i dont have the energy to explain myself anymore to people. i feel defeated in this life . ia m so tired.
i hate it here : i hate it here so much... - Anxiety and Depre...
i hate it here
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reereegram
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i use to after my first attempt on over dosing but they took me off after 4 session
Hi reeree, I am so sorry that things are so rough. Maybe here you can talk about your depression. It is so hard to get up every day when you feel hopeless. I really like the Feeling Good podcast Dr David Burns does, maybe try to find something uplifting to listen to. You do have at least one friend so if you don't have family those relationships become more important and you can cultivate more. You are not alone. I wish you peace, hope, and strength☮️
Thank you ❤️
Hello and Welcome. I am glad you have found your way here. Now you can talk to people who do understand depression. You can get the support that you need.
I’m so sorry. Your situation sounds so difficult. We are here to listen.
you are not alone now. We are here to hold each other up until we can stand on our own. Here you can talk about almost anything without judgement.
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been feeling like that more than usual these past two months. I don’t know what brought me out of it. Probably my cat. I can’t abandon him. You’re also having symptoms of anxiety. Are you on meds? That finally helped me. I also have therapy and no insurance. There is help out there. You need medicine and therapy. It’s like having a compact fracture of your leg and insisting on walking around without a cast and crutches. Please text HELP to 741741 and someone will talk to you via text. Then on Tuesday make an appointment with a psychiatrist and a therapist. You can look for free clinics in your area. You can go to HRSA.gov and look for one in your area. You can also contact me if you need to. I need to figure out how to turn on the notifications for this thing. Please, let us know how you are. If you feel you can’t wait, then go to the ER. You’re here because you’re meant to be here. We all go through the same things. Those of us with MDD and I know how hard it is. But I want you to stick around. We all do. Let’s just take it an hour at a time. Or even one minute at a time, if necessary. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.
I want to stick around because my friends and family but I don’t want to be suffering all the time . I feel I make one step and take 10 back I just feel defeated in this shit life . My cross is so heavy I just want to put it down and take a break . I am tired I feel I fight for my life every time and I am just drained . Yeah I take medication
You sound like me at my worst. If you’re on meds and feel like this you need something else. Only a psychiatrist can do that correctly. They may add an antidepressant or just change it completely. I know it’s hard and it hurts but don’t let it win. Stay with us and you see the day will come when you feel good. Happy actually. The feeling will blow you away. In a good way.
I will speak to my GP on Monday I just want my own break in this life .
Do that but remember to also try to see a psychiatrist. My GP had me on the wrong meds. When you can find a way to see a psychiatrist. I wish I had much sooner. I wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital. I just don’t want other to go through what I did needlessly. Please take care of yourself. And I’m here if you need me.
• in reply toreereegram
I’m really sorry to hear about your parents, sounds like you need to take sometime out and put yourself first. It takes time to build yourself up when you are feeling like that. People don’t always know how to act or what to say when you are feeling at your worst…maybe not because they don’t care, maybe because they don’t understand. Concentrate on you for a while till you can speak to a professorial, do the things that are healthy and make you happy whether that be going out walking, running, art work, meditation…you are in control. Don’t over think it (as we all know that’s easier said then done) take each day as it comes and not overwhelm yourself. And we are always here 💪 keep strong
Hello again reereegram, it looks like you are getting a lot of replies here so that is marvelous. I really like acceptance therapy and there is a book called "Get out of your mind and into your life". It talks about a battle going on inside our heads but we actually don't even have to enter the battlefield. It has really helped me to not feel like I am fighting all of the time to survive, because that is exhausting and not sustainable, at least for me. Sorry for all of the book references, just when I read or see something that rings true it gives me energy to keep going vs shutting down from fighting every day and riding a roller coaster of emotions ❤️☮️
I feel your struggle and pain. I understand and hear you. I have one parent that I had to take care of my mother since the age of 39 and I got depressed full of anxiety this past year and I alsondo not want to be here in this suffering. I lost friends and family and loosing mh relationship to this illness that is so not really acknowledged at all. It is crippling me. I am here if you need to talk. I can't stand every minute of my day. It is painful.
reereegram• in reply to
Yeah I can definitely understand when you say you lost because I lost all my own they felt me when I needed them the most
You are definitely not alone; in fact, I felt the same way, and, thus, made a suicide attempt at the age of 23. I wish I had an answer as to why life can be SO excruciating for some; what I can definitively tell you, however, is that none of this is your fault!
now they have me on the waiting list
what’s really scary is you have just written everything that’s identical to me even the loss of parents ! I am very sorry you are feeling this low but I have been there but my only way out was leaving , I was upped on my anti depressant , I spoke to a counsellor but it didn’t help coz the sheer anxiety of walking through the doors every morning overrode it. Sometimes you have to count your losses. Is this the only factor though that’s making you feel like this ? Have you family members who you can offload to? Have you you tried journaling , meditation , walking , it’s a very difficult decision to make to walk out of a job when we are going through a bad financial crisis, have you looked for another job first to see what’s out there? Maybe secure another job first , or start looking for one this will help you to feel better in yourself !
I know you got this, you are better than them and you can do this, you are amazing strong clever individual . Tell yourself this everyday and believe it !
Do you ever feel angry that they ain’t here to see your accomplishments. I feel that what hurts me the most. I want to be able to call my parents and tell them what I am going through or just have an emergency contact . I don’t have any one
I used to feel angry, very angry I have been through all the emotions, but it doesn’t help, trust me. I had to work really hard to pick myself up and fight it to get to where I am today and so can you. It will be a struggle to begin with but you can do it , there are so many lovely people here who will support you and have been through so much too, it’s life, but if you sit back and let it claw away at you you will destroy yourself. Don’t let your work eat away at you, tell yourself that your better than that, your accomplishments in life are a massive achievement, well done , so you can do it, but only you can do it. Losing parents is one of the hardest pains to deal with ,have you tried counselling? Coping and dealing with grief affects ppl in different ways as we know. I am very sorry you are going through all of this , you are almost like my twin, I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it’s all going to be ok but unfortunately that’s not reality . When im having a really bad day I do journal , then cry lots and that does help, I also love to walk to clear my head, and when I have the energy I like to run. Have you tried any of these? It will get better, please just trust in yourself .🙂
Hi, how are you?
I am better than I was 2 days ago . I listened to a Christian audio
I’m pleased to hear you are feeling better🙂
I’m so so sorry for your loss. that’s really hard and I can understand your position. I haven’t been in your position, but I’ve been in a similar one in terms of emotions, and feeling very alone. It sounds very typical, but it truly gets better. There was a point where I was suicidal. I felt so long I didn’t wanna be here. However I’m really glad that I never followed through and I’ll tell you why. Years later, I met the love of my life and best friend who is now my rock. I got to say I love you to someone for the first time and hear it back. I got to see my sister get married and have a child who I love dearly. I went to grad school and now have a profession. I say this because it’s true. It gets better. Feelings are temporary so don’t make a permanent choice with a temporary feeling. if you can see guidance from a therapist, can’t use anything against you legally. Let someone guide you through your life because right now it’s a little overwhelming and it’s OK to have that help. I’m proud of you for coming on here and seeking help. I remember reading a quote, one time and it’s relevant to this topic it said if someone really wanted to die throw them in water and see them fight for the air. I feel like when movie becomes suicidal we don’t wanna kill ourselves, but we want to kill the part of ourselves that feels that way. So work on the feelings. It will get better, I promise.
I can’t wait to be where you are honestly . I am happy for you x
This is a very inspiring response. You are very right when you say we don’t want to kill ourselves, but just the part that hurts! So true…it’s just hard to believe the pain will ever go away. 😟
I'm sorry you feel this way. The cat in your profile picture is cute as can be. Your cat needs you. Take good care.
I feel the same way.
I’m bored, depressed and over it
Been there, done that, have the t-shirts.
I’m ready for the next big adventure.
Nothing brings me joy.
People take advantage of me as I lost all motivation to defend myself.
The take the most advantage when you are on your lowest and that is what is so sad .
are you on medication? I promise you I felt this way. Feel free to message me. I know the feeling.
Yes I am on two medication
So sorry you are having a rough time.. Sounds like your meds need to be adjusted and/or changed. I hope the wait-list for therapy isn't too long. Meanwhile I have heard good things about Better Help for therapy. They're online(you can also message or chat with them). Maybe you can try them until you get another therapist. And if course stay on here for support. I'm very open about my struggles with depression and anxiety but always remember that unless a person has experienced either or both they will never truly understand. I lost one of my best friends of over 50 years because of some hurtful things she said to me during a depressive episode a couple years ago. She had previously been supportive, had visited me during a couple hospitalizations, etc. I will never speak to her again...Hope you are able to get the help and support you need and things start to look brighter!
I have suffered from major depression several times in my life, even trying to overdose once also and was admitted to a mental facility for 12 days back in 2020. My situation is different from yours as my friends do stand by me. People that have not been depressed don't really understand it though. Years ago, my mother even told me to snap out of it. I really don't have anything to be depressed about. I am now in remission for over a year. My psychiatrist had to change my antidepressant meds and the one I was on I had been on for 25 years and it finally wore out on me. I have not seen a therapist as I have no problems to tell them really. I think my depression is inherited as all of my 5 first cousins suffer from it from time to time to. I had to try different antidepressants to finally get on the right one for me. Hopefully you will get on the appropriate medication and you will fell better.
They had me on one that messed me up completely.
Had to physically beg them to change it .it been a long battle
I was lucky that my first antidepressant worked for almost 30 years, off and on as I stopped and started taking it several times. By trial and error my psychiatrist found one that worked finally. I certainly hope that is the same case for you. Everyone is different. My cousin had taken my current medication and it gave her a bad reaction, but I have no problems with it. I wish you the best!
it’s a scary place that you are in now. Depression does that to you. It sucks the life out of you leaving you with no defenses to fight back. I’ve been there. I just didn’t care anymore. & my thoughts scared me. It doesn’t matter how I got there, reereegram. Your cry for help tells me you you know you need help. What matters is that I knew I needed help & sought it. This is something you, too, need to do. You didn’t mention if you were under a doctor’ or therapist’s care. If you haven’t yet sought help, please do. Just you “talking” to us we appreciate that you trust us with your feelings. That’s what we are here for. Keep talking to us. We learn from each other. 🐺
I totally understand when you said your thought scared you , because that is what I am on: I know taking my own life is wrong and it in the Bible but I just don’t care anymore and that is the sad part
I was scared also, but all I could think of was ending my life which I tried to do by taking an overdose. Luckily I didn't take enough before I fell asleep and when I woke up I knew I needed to go to a hospital. I went to the E.R. and they transferred me to a mental facility where they did get me straightened out temporarily. I felt fine for about 3 months but my depression returned so I got a psychiatrist through my medical doctor, and she helped me get back on track. I feel fine now and can't believe I even wanted to end my life but that is what depression can do. This has been 2 years now and I hope this remission is forever. Please go to a regular hospital and they will help you get with a mental facility. I found out that ending your life is not the answer, it's the problem and there is help out there.
Are you in therapy? If not, please consider it. Talk therapy along with medication would likely help. Best of luck.
I am sorry you are going through this. Please call a psychiatrist office and ask for help, they will guide you on who to call for help. Stay close to family and friends and ask them for help also. Stay in touch and God bless you.
I've neem through the same thing. Friendships of 2 decades gone. I'm here text me
What happened?
It is sad because life doesn’t prepare you to deal with the passing of your love one.
They tell you not to stay down for to long and live your life. And there is another part if they see you living your life you then get judge. How did she lose her mom and dad and she is already travelling.
At work is a next story – my depressions show around me – I forget so many things and my work place is messy and I hear people saying I am dirty I don’t keep my work area clean, yeah that is because my mind is messed up I wish they can walk a mile in my shoe. All this just messes me up. I become scared of leaving a mess and thinking what ppl think about me . I have had a hard life I feel like I am fighting for everything in life and I don’t have any support system. I just smoke weed that helps me
Okay, I hear you, you hate it here. Do you like it somewhere else? Is there a place or an idea you can comfortably lose yourself in?
i dont even know the answer to that
What are the fights about?
I don’t want to be here either. My mom is not well. She is my favorite person on this planet…and I just want to go with her. I’ve struggled with a lifetime of anxiety and OCD…rejected from many relationships..marriage. My mom is my best friend. I can’t bear losing her.
😢😢💔💔💔
i am sooo sorry you are going through that. but you have to remember God is calling her home now where she will no longer have to suffer or be in pain she will have peace of mind. just look at it like that. oh damn i miss my parents like crazy but that is life. you dont go with anyone you go alone.
Thank you for your response. You are right…she will be with God in paradise and I will see her again.❤️
that is the only way to look at it. when my mum passed away. there is something that the pastor said if God was to tell her to come back to this earth she will say helll noo . come back and suffer come back to pain ? your mama is about to go and live her best life with God . hold your head high you got a personal angel
You are making me cry…but good tears…of peace. 🙏 Thank you
I'm here for you reereegram. I am in the exact same place. I hate my life, where I live, my ex who totally destroyed me! I wish I were never born. I don’t know why I have to endure this misery with no way out
i need to take my own advice. but maybe try surrounding your self with ppl that cares about you. read a book, paint . take a walk go to the gym . pray
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