Anxiety and Depression Support
19,485 members16,590 posts

Difficulty leaving home

Hello I'm new. Can anyone relate to this? I sometimes have feelings that are extremely strong and I will want to just sit in my corner on my sofa and watch TV. It will happen when there is a situation like needing to go to work or another appointment, even something that should be fun. I end up cancelling or no showing at events, and am criticised for it. When this happens, my heart gets tight, and I cannot even go into my garage to do anything. I can very occasionally push through it, making myself still do the thing, but usually I cannot. Then I end up letting people down, and it hurts me with work. Please, does anyone know what's going on? Thanks

4 Replies
oldestnewest

I am sorry your going through these fears and anxiety. But sometimes I too can just procrastinate doing something because I just don't feel very good emotionally. And then I just really have to make myself work on a solution. I don't set myself up for failure by expectations of what I can do for that day, and what ever I get done is good enough. Don't worry about what others think, just give them a heads up that you 'May or May not' go to an event depending on how you feel. Just be honest and up front with them. Give yourself permission sometimes to just work through stuff, and if you want to sit on the couch and vegetate, don't feel guilty, screw guilt and regret, they are killers to self esteem. Maybe think about why you feel stalled when you want to do something and can't. For me a lot of the time it's just fear of failure, or I just don't feel like dealing with people. All of those things are normal for anyone. But for me, I have depression, and others issues that can and do put walls up, so everyday it's just taking a brick at a time down. And some bad days, I put all the bricks back up. Tomorrow is another day.

Reply

Thanks for your reply. It helps. I guess if I tell someone I may or may not go somewhere depending on how I feel (and I like that wording) then for the things that have firm reservation deadlines, I will just have to say to myself that if reserving a spot is required, then I will need to skip trying to go to that event to begin with, for the sake of my mental health, and try to find an event that doesn't require a reservation. The people in so many of the Meetup groups here are very picky about showing up if you sign up, even if it's a large place where it should not matter if you show up or not. Many people told me I was just being fickle. I couldn't tell them what it really was. Yes, I find I have to give myself no more than one main thing to do each day. Even then, sometimes I can't even do the one. I also have a type of depression, and adding that to the mix definitely makes it harder. I have been doing a little bit of tutoring, and found myself dreading a tutor appointment the other day. It was the day that was so hard. I do not want to tutor that student again, and I have to think of how to tell their mother I won't be able to continue. It sounds like you are pretty involved in this group. Thanks for your reply.🙂

1 like
Reply

Just explain to the parent that due to outside circumstances you will not be able to tutor their child further. And then you have covered your bases, and it's on them to take it from there.

Reply

Oh, I like the "outside circumstances" wording. Thank you.

1 like
Reply

You may also like...