I took my friend out for dinner tonight for Valentine's Day. I didn't want to go and stressed about this entire week but I know it meant a lot and she already asks me why I don't eat with her ever so I felt like I had to go to make her happy and to prove that I can go out and eat. I had a bite of a greasy sandwich and felt like I was going to throw up. Like I panicked because it was so greasy and greasy foods give you stomach aches and I'm already having cramps from my period. I managed to eat half the sandwich but there was still a ton of food left on my food and I know my friend noticed even though she didn't say anything. And then I felt bad because I spent money on a meal I didn't even eat and that's such a waste. And now I'm back here and I'm think of how all this greasy gross food is in my stomach and part of me just wants to throw it all up but I know that's bad so I'm trying to stay calm and I'm not good at doing that. I don't want to get sick and I want to be able to go out for dinner without worrying about it for days beforehand and without being in constant fear the rest of the night of all the junk in my system. I just feel like crying right now and I hate it.