Life

I have had depression all of my life, l never seem to get away from it, I think certain things in your life contribute to the way you feel. I lost my Father to cancer when I was 23 then I was in a very bad marriage for years, in 2012 my Grandma died and at the same time my stepdad died of cancer and my mother got cancer as well but she survived, I also was made redundant around the same time.

I think all the incidents you go through in life do effect your future. I did see a Loros bereavement Counciler which did help a lot but I still have very bad times.

[Debbieoleary]

I have also had depression my whole life. The ups and downs of the illness has made my life a living hell . Yesterday I started a new treatment with a new psychiatrist as we were talking she told me she noticed that I kept calling it an illness . She feels it's something that we create due to Trumatic circumstances in our lives I get that , I understand that for some people it's like that . There are beautiful things that have happened in my life that should have made me happy - but happiness doesn't last long for me I want it so bad - and fought for peace for 20 yrs- but then that overwhelming sadness comes over me so quickly. I don't purposely create there's thoughts these feeling happen ! . I just wish that people can understand that sometimes it's out of our control. Nobody chooses to live this way and we all go through various treatments to get help . - but sometimes in " my case" help is unreachable . That how strong this "illness " is. I fight my battle everyday and do evything that is required of me. I'm tired - but I won't give up. I want to see life as beautiful as people say. One day I will.

[Hidden in reply to Debbieoleary]

Thank you so much, it’s very hard for people to understand who haven’t been through it, they say things like “pull yourself together “ or they say there depressed but they mean there unhappy at that moment. I know you understand me like I understand you and I thank you for that.

[Debbieoleary in reply to Hidden]

I'm new to this so let's keep in touch.

[Debbieoleary in reply to Hidden]

My husbands famous words after all these years " snap out of it"🙄

[Hidden in reply to Debbieoleary]

Yes they don’t understand

[Hidden]

Ok I’m new as well , thanks

[Hidden]

Do you see people around you who are happy with everything they do, I find it hard to believe people can be like this when I’m not, but I do help a lot of people but they never realise what I’m feeling

[Debbieoleary in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I resent them for smiling and being happy. Then I feel guilty.

Why am I having a hard time? Why can't I be like them?

The worst is when they say " did something happen to make you feel this ?".. 🙄

[Hidden in reply to Debbieoleary]

I can be in a crowded room and feel very lonely, depression seems to effect a lot situations