Confused

I’ve had one of the most difficult times these past 3 months. The number of friends i had decreased to like 3 in person and 2 more online. Back in November i was rushed to the ER because of a panic attack that ended up shutting my body down slowly. It caused me to lose strength in legs and I can I couldn’t walk “right” and had to force myself to walk around my own living room so my falls wouldn’t be as rough. In those 3 months up until now, not one person has helped me. Even just a call to check up on me. What hurts the most is i had one friend who I thought would care about me given how they treated me all of last year with exception to November and on. They’ve changed how they are with me. I can’t even get out of bed anymore.

I have gotten rid of the negativity in my life. That is why i only have 3 friends. I need these friends especially the one who i had a longer relationship with emotionally. I’ve tried going about things and asked if they just dont want to talk and they get defensive about it and say it’s all in my head (anxiety) deep down i know it’s not entirely that because of how they were with me back then.

I guess i just dont know what to do. A social life is needed. I need to be around people my age, yes. But I also have social anxiety which makes it difficult. I just want my friends to care enough to give me a call or visit me not just when they’re bored. I have always given my all to them and dropped everything for them and nobody has ever done that for me.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry for your loss, but I will tell you, when our life changes drastically, like when a couple friends got cancer, I saw their other friends drop off the radar like flies. Sadly people are people, some can't cope with us when heath issues come up. So we learn to make new friends that may have a better understanding of our stuff because they have similar issues. And you develop a support group of people in similar situations your in. If your in therapy, ask your therapist or doctor if they know of any 'face to face' groups you could join when your up to it, and otherwise share here and other similar sites to express yourself.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I haven’t had the courage to call the therapist i was referred. I do want to though. I can request group therapy first? Rather than just one therapist. I definitely do want to see my regular therapist as well. But I don’t know what group therapies in person are like.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I had a group for loss and grief, and letting go. It's just a few people who may be going through similar things you are that would be referred to the group therapy session through their therapist, that may meet once a week for a number of weeks. But for me that was something I did down the line after having one on one sessions with my therapist.

[Sunshine2018]

This is exactly how I feel right now. I have so many "friends" but no one to talk to. I really feel like, "Would they even notice if I disappeared?" I wish I had someone who cared, someone who would call on a day like today just to check on me. And make sure I'm okay.

I hope it helps to be here. And know that you are not alone.