Lost Lady

[Grace367]

Hi! New to the support group and hoping it will find me some answers to my issues.

I’ve been unemployed for a couple months, giving up hope of finding love, and feel inadequate compared to my more successful family members and friends. Rationally I know that life isn’t that bad and it’ll get better. But that doesn’t stop the constant roller coaster of anxiety and low self-esteem.

These feelings have been happening off and on for the past year. Finally, I’ve decided to take steps to make myself better. Can’t expect my life to get any better until I’m healthy.

[hypercat54]

The first thing is never to compare yourself to anyone else as that is a mugs game. You are different to them and maybe you are more successful in ways they aren't.

One of my sisters has the husband, child (grown up now), nice house, good job etc, but am I jealous of her? Not a chance though she is convinced I am which says a lot more about her than me! She is permanently tired and stressed and feels very sorry for herself. I would not trade my life for hers for anything.

You only see the outside of people's lives so concentrate on living yours and following your own dreams. x

[gogogirl in reply to hypercat54]

Like this, especially about the part of comparing.

[Grace367 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you so much for the advice! Rationally, I know that this is true. Every person has their own set of problems and stress, just some people hide it better than others.

Perhaps I dream to have a family, fulfilling job, etc is so I won't have to feel alone anymore? I always feel like I'm in a rush, impatient for my dreams to start NOW. And if isn't happening now then it must be because there's something wrong with me. I tell myself that this isn't true but it's going to be long journey for me to actually believe it.

[hypercat54 in reply to Grace367]

Life is to enjoy. It's not a competition or a race to see who gets the prizes in life and who gets them first. Why would there be something wrong with you if your dreams don't start immediately? Everyone has to work for what they want after all.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself otherwise one day you will turn round and you will be 40 and you will realise you have missed so much of what life is really about. x

[Hidden in reply to Grace367]

Hiya, whenever I feel like that I try to remind myself of the words of Max Ehrmann's poem 'Desiderata'. If you want a plan for life, it's a pretty good one. Take care,

[31750 in reply to Hidden]

Good Morning Everyone, I just looked up the poem 'Desiderata'. What a great message ! It is so helpful to be connected to others who understand anxiety and have Hope to pass on. I commit to keep going forward.