I was very active on this site commenting and giving advice to those in need. I suffer from Anxiety and Panic Attacks (15 years) and kept them at bay for quite awhile now and trying to live my life the best that I can. I never had luck with friends and my # of friends shrunk to two with the passing of one on Sunday as she suffered from cancer. I was doing a good job of keeping my emotions in check and tomorrow is the wake and my chest is pounding. I think I am starting to have trouble keeping it together and I am usually pretty strong. My family can't believe that I haven't been more emotional. I know death is a natural party of life but she was only 41 years old. Not fair and was a good person who was very good at what she did for a living. I have her last text as a reminder of how she was suffering the last couple of months and have a few photos of her that I got off the Internet. Just wanted to get this off my chest as I don't really have anyone to share this with. I keep my issues private and only a select few know of them. I was going to tell her about them and now the time has passed.
We must live life to the fullest everyday. I am trying to tell myself that.