Towing the line

[Tryingtobesupportive]

My boyfriend struggling with severe anxiety coupled with depression. I want to be supportive and I try to have patience. It can be very challenging. I have gone through bits of anxiety and depression in the past due to the lose of my high school boyfriend. So I can relate on some level. I know it’s not the same and I know he has struggled his whole life. Only since we have been dating has he come to terms with how bad it is. And how much it effects him. I love him so much and when he is having a good day it’s amazing. It I’m not sure if I’m strong enough for the bad days. Which makes me feel like a horrible perso.

[MrHelp]

Dear Tryingtobesupportive,

Welcome to the community, you have done the right thing by reaching out to neutral peers. Sometimes talking about things like this with a friend or family member can be bias. Yes, they have your best interests at heart, but hearing from people (outsiders if you will) can be a lot easier.

The first thing you need to encourage him to do is see his GP. Only in very rare cases does depression and anxiety go away without professional help, but first things first. Get to the GP and tell him to be as honest as possible and ask to see a councillor of some kind.

I was in this exact same situation, and unfortunately depression and anxiety can be contagious, especially if you live together. It wasn’t until I was suffering, and I went to see a doctor and psychotherapist that my partner thought “okay it’s time I went too”. Don’t let it get to that stage. Be supportive to him and tell him, you will get through it together.

You mustn’t feel like a horrible person because it is not easy to live with. Just focus on the good things. Remember why you are together. Don’t let this awful thing that is depression and anxiety get in the way of love... ever!

In the meantime, I highly recommend downloading “mindfulness” app. They have some shorter and longer meditation sessions which you can do alone, or together. Try it out and see what you think.

I really hope you manage to make the next steps with your partner soon.

Take care

Mr.Help x