Behind the Mask

[Chosen13]

I've been having anxiety and depression for a while now. I thought I could hide it from the one person who cares so much for me. I tried to convince myself I was healed. He proved me to be very wrong. I have the look of depression on my face. I tried to smile and be as happy as I could be but he saw right through me. I just want to be that happy person again. I just want to take off the mask of pretend and be myself. I don't want to be the Bad company or the negative Nancy.

[Hidden]

Why do you feel the need to hide it from him, I'm sure he will understand and be supportive of you! I'm here for you anytime you need me! Peace be with you!

[Chosen13 in reply to Hidden]

I hide it because, I feel like it's a phase in life I'm just going through. I thought the depression was gone. The anxiety has me afraid sometimes. The thought of the ones that love me changing up. Thank you!

[Hidden in reply to Chosen13]

Oh don't feel that way. It's not a choice you made, they love you and will be there for you! XXX

[Forestina in reply to Hidden]

I so understand what you are saying. I have friends who want to help and speak to me, but I only feel I can text, speaking makes me nauseous and I feel such a failure saying I am no better.

[Chosen13 in reply to Forestina]

It's the fear of them not wanting to be around me because of this disease.

[Hidden]

Are you getting any professional help?

[Chosen13 in reply to Hidden]

I am not. I'm afraid of the outcome. I don't want to take medications. It will also affect my job.

[Hidden]

Well I wish you the best!

[Chosen13 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

You are very welcome and good luck!

[Want2BHappy3]

It is hard, having anxiety and depression is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I now know how my brother was able to commit suiscide...the brain is the hardiest thing to deal with. I'm on medication and seeing a Councelor who is a waste of time but is the only way I could get medication. Iam looking for another Councelor. Talking to friends or family not good, they just want to get over it . I wish it was that EASY. What I've been doing is fighting with my brain. I'm scared when I'm having an anxiety attack because I stop eating for almost a week. Trying SO HARD to pull it together. My weight goes up and down...Not healthy.

[Chosen13 in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I understand completely how you feel and what you're going through. God is a peacemaker and I just pray he gives us the strength to help us get through this trial and test.