Alchol is Destroying my life

[tamka38]

Am only one day clean and am so ready to be done drinking. I finally realizing it don’t really help me in the long run. Am tried of the numbness sleepless night waking up feeling guilty. Having everybody watch me do things and say crazy things while I was drunk being anxious and having depression the next day. I deserve to be happy and I shouldn’t use alcohol to try to make myself happy. Right now my mind is playing tricks with me and I don’t know what to do am so lonely and I just want to cry myself to sleep

[Gattinko]

You are definetly not alone, hope you hold on with alcohol! Keeo that demon from you!

[tamka38 in reply to Gattinko]

Am trying to is so hard because every time I get anxious or depressed I pick up a bottle or if I have a problem I drink I been drinking away my problems since my teen Year’s and the only people who come around me is people who want to drink I have medication but afraid to take them do u drink?

[Gattinko in reply to tamka38]

I have one thing that keeps me from drinking, i have extreme hungovers. So i dont have aby reason to Try dipping my anxiety in alcohol.

[HearYou in reply to Gattinko]

Great reason.

[HearYou in reply to tamka38]

What medication do you have that you are afraid to take?

[HearYou]

Look up the number of AA crisis line NOW and talk, talk, talk,talk to a real live person. Please. You may need a detox center. No shame in that.

[tamka38 in reply to HearYou]

I feel so bad am about to look up one

[HearYou in reply to tamka38]

I'm here until you tell me you have reached some one......you need them and that's why they are there. Get address of a meeting to attend today. You need that too. or a NA meeting alcohol is a drug, so either will help.

[tamka38 in reply to HearYou]

Thank you

[HearYou in reply to tamka38]

No worries. I'm still here. You reach anyone?

[HearYou in reply to tamka38]

Hello tamka38 Are you still there? Ok, if not on line, please PM me later and let me know what is happening. Am concerned about you and maybe your need for detox....we don't need any Ray Charles' do it myself business.......

[HearYou in reply to tamka38]

you reach anyone yet?

[HearYou in reply to HearYou]

you still there?????

[tamka38]

Extreme hungovers how bad did it get for u. I really need help

[Rpan]

You mention something that is very important. You said that you realized that the alcohol really doesn’t help you. This is the key. You are right it doesn’t help you or anyone. With that said what can you do next? First off regardless of how you feel don’t drink! Consider AA. Get on line and look up a meeting in your area, there you will find many who are willing to teach you how to live with alcohol. If that is not an option than call your family members and tell them what you have decided and ask them for help. You will learn how to live without having to run to a drink to cope with your feelings. When you think of drinking, write about it, prey that these thoughts are lifted. Get busy. Accept that you have a problem and help is on the way.

[tamka38 in reply to Rpan]

Awww thank u I been trying to find help online I been drinking for a long time

[Rpan]

Hey that’s ok! We all have something we are not proud of. Dropping the crutch that you have relied upon for so long is a loss. There will be many feelings that come up all of which will make it seem impossible to continue to not drink. Understand these feelings are normal. Each time you choose to not drink when these feeling arise you are building a positive experience. Learn to be proud of yourself for letting this old, harmful, friend go. Learning a new way of life is possible.

[tamka38 in reply to Rpan]

Am scared of the withdrawals and now since I want be drinking I will feel all the feelings I use to numb

[Rpan]

There is only one route and that is through it. These are your feelings and you have them for a reason. Being scared is valid, it’s ok to be scared. You will need to share these fears. Be specific about what it is that is so scary. This is not the time though, for now just don’t drink. Stay in the moment try not to project. How much do you drink each day?

[kenster1]

in the end if you kept drinking the drinking would win.you would be unwell mentally and physically your body would just give in.at least you realise the dangers and effects its having on you and that's a start.my brother is an alcoholic I was a heavy drinker for 6 years big style now its only a few every other weekend.initially a couple of drinks makes you merry but after that cut off it leads to more depression meaning you drink more.speak to your g.p and go along to aa meetings for support.

[tamka38 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you

[kenster1 in reply to tamka38]

no worries I thought drinking made me happy but I realised like you have that it wasn't .a house a job and two more kids later is worth it for me.lets hope you are rewarded with a healthier happier life soon without it.

[tamka38 in reply to kenster1]

I feel so alone

[hypercat54]

Hi I hope you are getting medical help to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. Please don't try and go through this on your own.

Also I would take your meds as they should help you feel a bit better and more able to cope with your feelings instead of trying to drink them away.

I really hope you can stop as you know as well as anyone if alcohol gives you up before you let go of it you would be in big trouble. Hold on to this thought and stay with us in here. I also hope you are seeing a counsellor.

You are not alone now as you have us and as you have seen a number on here can totally relate to your struggle with the bottle. x

[tamka38 in reply to hypercat54]

I stop seeing my counselor and right now I just want to be alone

[hypercat54 in reply to tamka38]

I totally understand how you are feeling but isolating yourself is actually the worst thing you can do and can lead to all sorts of other problems. Try and keep some contact with others even if you don't feel like it. x

[tamka38 in reply to hypercat54]

Ok thank you

[SoberDrunk1]

I can totally relate to your condition. I was that person who couldn't stay stopped. Monday morning would come of the spree puking and make a resolution not to drink atleast until the weekend. But barely make it to Wednesday. Then that realization came that I have to change. Baby steps. My shrink suggested i need a spiritual solution and maybe I am an alcoholic. Didn't know what these terms mean then. I walked in the rooms of AA Sept 27th 2006. After initial struggle, I gained immense knowledge about alcoholism. How un-manageability (inability to handle life) leads to restlessness, irritability, discontedness and anxiety, fear, boredom..... and then our warped mind looks forward to one that we know best that is booze (others can substitute there own stuff) and we pick up. And the craving kicks in and we are off to the races. So that realization propelled me to work the reminder of the steps and stay sober and lead a useful life. A life where I can be of use to other suffering individuals, who if they realize this malady can recover too. That is the sole reason for my existence.