Dealing with lingering emotions

[GreenPenguin04]

After 2 weeks of constantly bothering my ex after she broke up with me, I've realized that I was doing more harm than good. I still have feelings for her, but I now understand that this wasn't the right way to deal with them, so I've decided to go no contact with her for a while.

This might not be the right choice, as it was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing for me, but it's already done. I'll miss her, but I know that it's what needed to be done to avoid suffocating her more and more, and I hope that after this, at the end of the day, we can stay as friends; that's how we started, after all.

However, I need some advice nonetheless, I need help, well, dealing with lingering emotions. I don't think I'll be able to fully forget them, since I still care for her a lot, but I want to find ways where I can deal with them in a healthy way. Something to keep my mind busy, more specifically. Any help is greatly appreciated.

[GreenPenguin04]

Update: Didn't block her, she reached out, we got to talk, and we ended up on good terms, as friends. Still, if anyone knows of stuff I can do to pass the time, I'd appreciate it.

[Focusedmind]

Sometimes you may find yourself dragged back into strong feelings towards your ex-girlfriend again as you try to remain friends with her. You may find yourself going on a roller coaster, being pulled towards her, and then pulling yourself back out. And this cycle may happen many times before you get some emotional regulation within yourself due to these strong feelings. Hopefully, you can come to a balance with yourself and with your relationship with her. And acknowledge that if you can't, you may need to say "goodbye" to this friendship in the end. But know that another woman may be better for you.

Finding something else you are passionate about is the best way to distract yourself from an old romantic relationship. Redirect your energy to something that will help you go in a positive direction in the future. Go one step at a time towards those things that will help build your life. And lengthen the time you go without thinking about her, extending this time each day. Learn to enjoy your alone time and interests. Cherish your own family and friendships with other friends. Seek out what is good in your life and strive towards what makes you strong and healthy.

[hypercat54]

Well done for realising that. Many people don't and end up driving their ex partner away for good.

How about joining a group with similar interests? I don't know if there are such things in your country though.

Keeping in more contact with friends and family might help too.

I hope you find your way. Take care.

[GreenPenguin04 in reply to hypercat54]

I've considered doing that, but it feels like my likes are too niche for my country. Thankfully, the internet exists, so I've tried to make friends with people that like the same stuff as me, which is great progress for me, since I was very antisocial before. Also been working up the courage to try and make irl friends with the few people I've found that share my likes and somehow succeeding, which makes me feel proud of myself