So, along with the stress of being an "essential worker" because I am an Operations Manager at a Produce distribution center, I am now COVID-19 positive.
My anxiety and depression has been difficult enough due to the separation from my wife. Now, I have to quarantine myself from the world, besides my time at work. I used to see my kids 3 to 4 days per week and now not at all (Going on 6 weeks). I am locked in a 10x10 foot room for two weeks. Plus, due to exposure to, who knows how many more infected COVID-19 individuals, I can't take the chance on exposing my beautiful children.
Thus, my anxiety has skyrocketed and my depression has dug a hole I am clawing desperately to get out from. All by myself. People can't come near me and no one knows what to say to me except "you'll be ok."
The dark is getting darker and I am trying to find a light.
I'm sorry this happening to you. Please hang in there. I know how it feels to deal with anxiety and depression. It takes up so much energy. Your sacrifice for the people you care about is commendable.
Oh my god, I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m sure these words you have written couldn’t even compare to how you actually feel.
I’m guessing you don’t have a window either? Staying inside a tiny room, no natural lighting, (even if there was a small window), not being able to see anyone, and infected with this terrifying virus along with mental health issues? My god. I don’t know what I would do with myself.
And you’re right, I don’t even know what to say that might help. Honestly, I don’t think anyone actually could say anything that would help with these circumstances.
Is there somehow to get a higher anti depressant dosage? To help at least A TINY BIT, during this time? Of course I’m not saying that is the answer. The answer you really need is “you’ve tested negative.”
I hope you are at least video chatting with your wife and kids as much as you used to see them.
Also, if the means are available, some nice nature wall art. I can’t imagine how this must feel. How are you trying to cope?? I’m going to list a few apps. Look at some of your feeling up to it.
InsightTimer-meditation app (click free version)
Audiobooks- (self explanatory)
SongPop- kind of a fun song guessing game
Pinterest- picture sharing
HouseParty- video chat with multiple people at the same time
Maybe even starting a blog or a vlog.
Or record stuff every day about this struggling journey. Vent, talk about your state of mind, how maybe you feel like the walls are closing in on you, how you spoke to your kids and how it made you feel, and so on.
I truly hope that one day, you test negative. And you get to cherish your life once again. 💕
Thank you for the suggestions. I am listening to Amazon music for new music a lot of the day. I do have a small window but the house next door blocks most of the light.
Facetime with my kids is great but they are 9, 6, 3, and 1 which puts them in the attention span range of a gnat. So, it is not the highest quality conversation (by no fault of their own.) My wife and I are in the separation phase heading for divorce so we talk about the kids and that's it.
I am going to start forcing myself to journal again. My motivation to do anything has been severely diminished.
Thank you again for replying. Helps me feel a little less alone.
Dang houses blocking the sunshine we need!! Haha also, music is my life. I wouldn’t survive without it. Definitely helps process emotions in different words that help us. Any good new artists or bands your into??
As far as the FaceTime with your kids go, yeah, I’m sure it’s hard for them to stay focused. I hope it brings you at least some sort of happiness.
Also, I am sorry to hear about the separation. But, sometimes it’s a good thing, as terrible as it is. I hope in this case, it’s for the best.
And that’s a good goal!! Journaling helps me a lot. But yes, of course finding the motivation is challenging for me, and in your situation, I can see why.
I'm sure you are limited on what things you have with you to keep you busy but are there any projects you could do to keep you occupied, like learning something new or drawing? Maybe you could learn a new language or take a class or learn something fun like art history or learning to play an instrument (if you have access to one), whatever interests you. I have been taking some guitar lessons and am thinking about painting a picture for my home office where I've spent most of my days lately. Having a long-term goal or project to focus on might help with the anxiety a bit. I know it won't fix the distance from your family and feeling confined but it could help distract you and hopefully make the time go faster.
I hope you're feeling ok and will recover quickly.
Oh I am terribly sorry!! 6 weeks? To see your children? How long have you been in querentine? I thought you said two which I hope your at home? The doctors I hear on the news are saying reach arms above head and stretch, not exercise, but move, breathing exercises, snd if weather is permitting open a window for fresh air , how are your symptoms? How long has it been? And just know everyday is one day closer to recovery, hopefully someone is taking care of you and then you out of that room sending quick healing prayers! Lynn
First, thank you for reaching out. It's been 6 weeks because others in my workplace have been exposed and I didn't want to take the chance of exposing my kids. Now that I have it, I don't know how much longer I will be quarantined.
Due to the lovely Michigan weather, we have only had a few warmer dry days this year. I did have my window cracked yesterday which was awesome.
I do have a couple meditation apps on my phone but it just doesn't work. I miss my kids so much, miss my freedom, the anxiety overwhelms my focus.
I am also sorry for what is happening to you. This has touched so many lives. I have some friends and relatives who were positive. Is it the start of your 2 weeks quarantine or are you somewhere in the middle? Is it okay to pray for you? Keep us updated, the people here gave excellent suggestions. Are you in a crowded area where it is hard to avoid getting near anyone? Someone I know did this, since he needs to get groceries, he takes a shower before going out and really scrubs clean. Then puts a mask and if someone is approaching in the hallway he steps aside or goes back to his apartment. You can only infect others from what comes out of your mouth and nose. Some fresh air and sun is important, and don’t forget to drink a lot of water and healthy food. Anxiety and depression can lower your resistance. I just hope that you fight it, and if you don’t show symptoms in one week (which I hope really happens) then you will have antibodies against the virus as if you have been vaccinated. So, let’s hope for the positive.
Hello, Alladin. I am in the middle of the quarantine. My symptoms are starting to fade way. Still have bad headaches and fatigue but the fever, chest pain, and shortness of breath are pretty much gone. If I do go out, which is about every other day, I shower before and after due to the large population I live amongst.
The worst part of all this is not seeing my kids in person. Stuck in this room is tougher than I imagined. However, I will fight through and get back to life.
I would always welcome positive thoughts. For reasons I don't speak of, I am not religious but certainly don't judge anyone who is.
I'm so sorry. Are you experiencing symptoms of Covid? I hope you get to feeling better soon. I know that must suck, but it is temporary. Once you recover, it will be good to see your family again, and you WILL see them again. It helps sometimes to look at what is temporary vs. what will most likely be in the future. Get some rest, and take care of yourself. Hope to see you recover soon!
Sorry about your kids, DarkandAlone. It is tough, but we need to focus on what we can do and for now try to accept what we cannot. One thing my friends told me is to keep the shower warm and extend a bit because it rehydrates your lungs and you have a better chance of fighting the virus. I think you are a good father and your kids are blessed to have you. I sometimes think positively by thinking “it could be worse.” Some fathers will never see their kids, but you have something to hope for and look forward to.
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To hell with the holidays,Anxiety +++
This is hell- please respond
What has quarantine shown you about your relationships?
Im either depressed as hell or fatigued...or both... and it's a living hell 
