I hope everyone is good and safe. I moved a few days ago. I'm already doing better. The lady I was renting from is trying to bill me for some bogus charges. I told her I'd rather forget about that place but I'm also confident in my record keeping and court will be fine too. I was able to keep my pups. That was the most important thing. They have a huge fenced yard. I take them out and walk a lot to get moving. I was sitting in that room for months. I'm so glad it's finally starting to become a faded memory.
My family all sucks. They are people I'd never be around if they weren't family. My brothers wife and mom were sending me some nasty and mean texts. I just left them. The preview on the last message was something about JM killing himself. Like mother like daughter, I guess. I sent a nice reply saying I'm only trying to help them because they have 5 kids. I'd rather lose the 300 I loaned them then lose my brother. I'm never lending money to anyone again.
I hurt so bad from moving. The guy that's my roommate is very uninformed about anxiety or depression. I just asked him about anxiety and his reply was his mind is too strong for things like that and if I'm mentally ill and are we going to have problems. I said no. It's frustrating that no one takes my anxiety seriously.
I talk to my new psych for the second time today. I can't understand her accent and asked if I can see a different doctor. I feel so rude but its important that I understand my psych and they understand me.
Exercise. Sunshine. Play with my dogs. Eat healthier. Those are my goals that I will work on daily. I need a lot of things but I know I'll get them this month or next.
I had 2 people that really helped me. I'm making sure they know I appreciate them. I have a non-profit group that also assisted me. I'm going to do some volunteer work for them. I even get a title.
Be safe everyone. I'm here if anyone needs to talk. Thank you to those that have been here for me. I appreciate it very much.
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Jennblank7734
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Hi Jennblank, I say good for you! Love those puppies hug them and scrunch them and kiss them and let them lick your face it feels so good doesn't it? You are so right people do not understand mental illness, especially the older generation their perspective is control yourself behave yourself. They cannot possibly relate to you, that is why We are here in this community.
Your information all sounds so positive I'm so happy for you. This community here is where you'll find your support encouragement and understanding. I also do have anxiety however it is not my main problem. My young 20-year-old daughter doesn't understand and that really hurts. my mom does not relate and that has always hurt. My best friend does not either but she makes an effort to encourage me as much as she can. So I encourage you to keep going keep moving forward you sound like you have got some things in order. Do not overwhelm yourself. I find that that is my most severe problem, creates constant interrupted thoughts and worries to increase. Anyway if people even family are abusive to you (I don't know what your situation) but detachment or distance is always a good consideration. And when somebody sends me a nasty text sometimes I don't even respond to it. it just eggs them on, keeps them engaged. That's what they want. Don't let them have it!
keep your peace about you keep moving forward good job! Be well
What a wonderful reply! Thank you. Yes, distance can be a great thing so you can chill and enjoy some peace of mind. Things are good right now! My memory is like a goldfish so I'll forget most of the last 5 or 6 years. I've even opened communication with my ex husband. My son turns 18 today. I'm excited for him. Might not hear from him today but he will call soon. The 4th time. It's really nice to get to know him. His brother not so much but it will happen. I will take things slow and have a positive view of things. I was asked if I want to go to the store tomorrow. I'm having a lot of anxiety but I think I'll make it. Thank you again!
Hey Jennblank, If you can manage it, go to the store! It would be an excellent exercise for you. I used to stay home and isolate, have social anxiety as well as general anxiety and I would stay home and hide from people. Getting out is very good for you. It is achievement. If you can't manage there will be another opportunity soon.
Happy 18th birthday to your son. My girl is 20 she lives with my mother, her grandma. I moved her there because I was not emotionally or mentally fit to take care of myself.. And she is had a very difficult time over my decision. for the last 3 years, she's trying to accept me and receive me back into her life. The children have to heal in their own time, I hate it because God it can take them forever to figure life can turn you sideways in an instant. Even if you're not mentally ill. They actually have to go through pain to find more compassion. it sucks but it's true.
I had the exact same relationship with my mother. she did not send me away however, I was her work horse I took care of my brother the house, good student all that. She was verbally abusive and spanked us with a leather belt more times than she needed to because she was angry as she was spanking. Really tore me away from her I was very angry and did not forgive her right away. It took a long time for me to heal. Forgive..
now my mother is 85 , I'm 57, and I'm trying to make an effort to spend more time with her because I really did avoid her a lot in my younger years.. Kids and parents! Sometimes it can be so hard. But I keep trying! you keep trying too!! and the other son that doesn't call you so much, eventually will. Accept he is in his own healing process and you cannot do anything about that. That's what I have had to accept about my daughter. So I know how hard it really is, but so easy to say, isn't it?
She can be distant and sometimes cold but it's getting better. It's taken 6 years total, since I sent her to my mom. but she and I are doing better, I have to tell myself all the time don't pressure her don't rush her and don't tell her too much there is a thing about oversharing with children.
Good luck to you thank you for your positive comment to my comment. LOL
How brave you are to share such personal experiences, I'm so glad your relationship with your daughter is healing. And I've never had the desire or the opportunity to forgive my mother for her short part in my life so I also commend you for that journey.
Hi Monicachandler,I'm hoping this note will find you well. Thank you so much for your comment I do not consider myself brave to share personal experiences, I I feel compelled. I need sometimes to get it out of my body. I find there's value in almost anyone's response to you.
This is the perfect place because you guys relate understand and identify.
I've have voluntarily been in many group formats for over 40 years so I'm used to talking about my challenges.
Between you and I it took me almost 30 years to forgive my mother. I was living my life out in the world I was trying to figure out how the world worked, I had to keep work and an apartment. I didn't think about her much and when I talked to my therapists well they never tell you anything straight off. they make you figure it out if I knew what I was doing wrong I wouldn't be in therapy, hello! LOL no really therapy's good.
When I actually finally did forgive my mother I personally, Me felt relief and transformation. I still have mental illness but I can hug her now because I want to not because I have to. All these years I've been cordial and hugging her because that's what she wanted. So Now my daughter won't hug me at all. It's funny how things go round, they call it karma in some areas of the world.
Between you and me? Loved that lol. Maybe I should forgive my mother but I don't feel the need , she was never my mother really just the woman who gave birth to me so I don't feel I owe her anything. If a relationship can be saved then it should be so I'm glad for you that you got the opportunity.. I'm new to these forums by the way and not sure I quite get the concept, I read a person's dilemma and immediately try to solve their issue . I'm beginning to think this is the wrong approach?
Monicachandler thank you for your response. I had an opportunity and I took it and I feel better for it.
Yeah, that was a joke between you and me. I'm glad you smiled I can see it! I'm visualizing right now.I understand and I hope you do return to see this message. If this format is not for you it's not for you. I find in my life that the advice; take what fits and leave the rest, is appropriate in almost any case.
I know what you mean about not needing to forgive your mother. I didn't feel the need to have to forgive my father. I agree.
I also do try to solve other people's problems. In fact I might have been trained that way, I've been doing that all my life .
I know now, I have finally learned, that I help who I love and who I want to help. I also realize that nobody can solve anybody else's problem. That is something we take upon ourselves or don't take at all.
For me personally I find it comforting to know that others relate to what hurts.. That's all and eventually I've come to offer support and encouragement to others. To me that feels good. I try to do more of what feels good. that's all it is. That's what I want/need, compassion and understanding, that's what other's want in some capacity.
Whatever you choose, I really liked your response. Take care of yourself good luck in wherever you go and do.
Thanks for reply and great input maybe we try to solve problems because it shows us we're valuable in some way.? When I say we I mean me lol im including you because like you said it's good that others can relate. I think this forum is at least helping me understand myself abit better.
Don't worry about your roommate not understanding its rare that people do.Happy birthday to your son he is an adult now which will make communication easier for you and hopefully your other son will see this and want more of a relationship with you .
As for family members they say you can't chose them so you have to chose your friends instead 🙂
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