Yelling makes me anxious

[Ml601]

I get nervous and anxious everytime people yell or if I know people are about to start arguing I just tense up and assume thing's are going to get bad. Im not sure why I start to kind of panic my heart beats fast and I get all tense.

[Sonny216]

Me too. I'm going to assume for myself, a major reason is, I grew up in a toxic environment in which they traded these vicious verbal arsenals like normal behavior.

I'm am BACK with these sick family members and at my age today, I am even MORE intolerable. I notice I immediately feel FIGHT or FLIGHT and just recently, I also notice I'm shaking...like an incredible tense nervousness starts to seize my whole mind and body

[Ml601 in reply to Sonny216]

For me i guess it's all the emotional nd physical abuse I've witnessed that just makes me think things will always get violent or physical in some way. Is it like ptsd in a way?

[Sonny216 in reply to Ml601]

Yeah, it's like your waiting for the other shoe to drop

[Ml601 in reply to Sonny216]

Yup exactly. Couldn't of said it better

[HearYou]

Without getting too deep, I think you feel like that because you're normal. Particularly with your background. My parents never yelled or argued in front of my brothers and sisters......none of my extended family of my father did. But I'm not dumb enough to think that type of behavior isn't a sign of possible danger.

Maybe the 64,000 dollar question is how you can desensitize your reaction to a level where you don't get hit with anxiety or unreasonable fear when it happens. Or have a way planned to remove yourself when it happens.

When I practiced trial law, I needed to deal with attorneys in the NYC and New Jersey area. I'm a woman and Southerner. Sometimes, their more rapid speaking pace and accent would cause an aggressive/danger response for me; after a few moments, if I wasn't able to get a word in edgewise, I'd place the phone in a desk drawer and close it. Would call the attorney back 2 or 3 minutes later. It is what it is.

[Ml601]

Yeah Id like to not jump to the conclusion that someone's gonna get knocked out . I am trying things to kind of calm myself down in those moment's.

[HearYou in reply to Ml601]

Maybe watch a few clips of Mohamed Ali in the ring. Somehow, while he knocked out other boxers, he never got knocked out even when he maybe should have as he didn't cover his face while throwing a hard punch. He danced and pulled his face back. ( I was raised in Louisville when his career was beginning.)

On a more serious note, like other fears that people can have, such as snakes, perhaps you could look into a program where you are gradually exposed to such situations in a safe environment until your anxiety reaches a manageable level. My best to you; you deserve to have a less stressed life. xx

[Ml601 in reply to HearYou]

Lol maybe ill do that. Thank you for the advice I appreciate it.

[HearYou in reply to Ml601]

Good, You kept your sense of the ridiculous and humor. That can take you a long way.

[quieturban]

Omg I feel the same way too. Can't handle drama. It makes me feel weak compared to other people when I feel that way. Like I should be strong and able to deal with heavy stuff. But I just can't help the way I feel. I guess I'm think skinned. I'm trying to improve and become more thick skinned. But I definitely understand how you feel.

[Ml601 in reply to quieturban]

Yup that's how I feel I think it has to do with lack of confidence and very low self esteem in my case. It's a shitty feeling like your less than people. That's how i feel.

[quieturban in reply to Ml601]

I hear ya. Talking with like minded people will help. Just be careful around toxic people who will try to lower your self esteem. I've experienced that a lot.