Obsessive thought s in negitive thinking.

[Sophs82]

Hi im sophie ive had really bad thoughts since i was a kid and got treated 8 years ago with serterline 150 mgs which nearly caused me to break down about thoughts of could i hurt or suffocate my kids but i love them soo much and it nearly killed me but i got over it and now its come back when my daughter and patner went to spain and i was here with my son whos 16 and has serve autism cant talk or communicate property and my oldest is 17 so shes always out. But lately the panic attacks started to come back really back then these thoughts again. I really feel LIKE im going to have a metal break down the thoughts just keep coming and im scared to be alone with my kids when i go out all the time feel like im in a dream and not in reality 😣panic aswell are getting so bad please help x

[Bird-67]

Oh bless you, I know exactly how you feel and it is scary.

When the anxiety gets bad that’s when the thoughts are more likely to come back.

Are you on any medication now?

[Sophs82 in reply to Bird-67]

Yea 150 mg serterline but my doc told me they stop working after 2 year s . Ive had this on and off over the years but lately it's getting unbearable my daughter's 8 and i cant let this effect them x

[Aspergirl47]

Hey....Just read your post and relate so much...First my only son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome aged 17..I have been his sole Carer for years...I know how tough it is to stay sane.. I was hospitalised in 2014 for the first time as I became very ill..chronic anxiety/panic attacks, social anxiety, Ocd and Ptsd and eventually went on to be diagnosed with childhood autism which I had lost some traits that then made the diagnosis Aspergers aged 45....Sophie please know u are doing the best u can at the moment... Was your daughter a good support before she left for Spain? U are now dealing with your son almost on your own and that is not easy, ive done this alone too u are stronger than u will ever know and u wont hurt your kids because u love them ive felt like this..i remember thinking I will commit suicide and take my son with me...I knew my thoughts were irrational and told my Dr....he told me I was so anxious and stressed out that my mind was playing tricks on me...I think u are experiencing the same and I really sympathise remember the panic feelings are just that Feelings, they will come and go..the feeling of being in a dream when out are the same for me, it can be dissociation when anxiety is high...horrible but eventually if the anxiety reduces, it will stop...Look after yourself Sophie, any chance u get too, have a bath, try to listen to music , anything that helps take your mind off things even if temporary..Im here remember, if u want to chat..youre not alone...Hugs xx

[Sophs82 in reply to Aspergirl47]

No my 8 year old went to spain with her dad in August for aweek and i just felt worried something might happen to them maybe on the plane or something not sure . It started when i was driving with my son the panic attack came out of nowhere after years of getting rid of them then the thought s started again now wont go away just panic all the time feels close to a break down im tryin real hard to keep occupied but thank u so much it means the world x

[Aspergirl47 in reply to Sophs82]

Hey Sophie...Thanks for the reply Sorry, read it wrong lol I thought u must have an older daughter and she had gone to Spain with her partner lol This is exactly what happened to me around 7yrs ago...I had previously had severe panic attacks after I lost my mother but they stopped and I had been panic free for 6years and felt quite good then I had a stress trigger and woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air...it was a severe panic attack and ive battled this since, same as u, all horrible negative thoughts that wont stop...anything seems to give me a rush of panic, even if I watch certain things on tv....I understand completely I saw a Psychologist and she explained that with the anxiety being so high and then add on any stress ( We both have a son with Autism ) that's not easy..so we continue to suffer high anxiety levels...horrible I know, I was told to keep listening to relaxation cds or find breathing meditations on youtube...also try yoga if u have time...I also find it difficult to keep occupied.. If u need to chat I'm here...Hugs xx

[Sophs82 in reply to Aspergirl47]

My thought s about suffocation towards my kids is what kill s me most always had obsessive thoughts as a kid but neva this bad . And same i couldn't watch murder documentary s as i was worried once i might be insane but that passed x now its panic and feeling like im not in reality and panic attacks just coming on and i cant think straight xbut thanks so much x

[Aspergirl47 in reply to Sophs82]

Hi, The thoughts,although horrible are all due to chronic anxiety...it can play havoc with us...I also have Ocd so that makes me really obsessive and I have to remember that its all anxiety...the problem lies in getting the anxiety levels back down, as u know, when mild the thoughts aren't as bad and the panic ends...I have tried lots of stuff, meditation etc but nothing seems to help...I do believe the stress of our situation keeps the anxiety high...I don't know if u have heard of The Linden Method ? I'm in the UK and this guy suffered for years, like us and he is now really successful in treating all anxiety disorders...a lot of people swear by it..my only problem with it is when the guy was suffering with chronic anxiety he says he was living alone and had no other stressors to deal with, so I imagine it would have been a lot easier for him to be able to just work on himself..but I wonder if this would work in our situation? not sure,but maybe u can have a look online if u think it might help.... xx

[Sophs82 in reply to Aspergirl47]

Im open to anything that might work . Thank u so much for ur input x

[Aspergirl47 in reply to Sophs82]

Youre welcome I know someone who actually bought the Linden Method package...she said it helped to an extent... Please let me know if u decide to try it as I might try it myself...Good Luck...Chat anytime...xx

[ciley]

I suffer with morbid,obsessive thoughts,you end up going round in circles,doing something helps ,you never know when it might be 'the key' all the best, you are not alone Ciley

[Sophs82]

Thank u x

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Has your doctor suggested changing medications? Apparently you are getting worse so your Med should not be the same for a different situation. I took a Med for years. I recently weaned off because I was having problems and was worried my Med could be exacerbating the situation. I had become immune to the medicine. It happens. Definitely look into changing it or something. Also having someone on standby to talk to when you are alone with your children and the thoughts come could be very helpful. Like alcoholics do when they want a drink. That’s why I joined this group. I don’t drink. I have severe anxiety and when it hits I need someone to talk to other than my 70 year old mom with heart disease. Feel free to message me. I’m a mess but I can help other people. Just not myself. Kind of like the saying,” those who can’t, teach.”

[Sophs82 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Yep my doc did say they stop working after 2 years and its been 7 so i suppose i do need new meds and more cbt but im also here to talk anytime good at advice just not taking my own . But thank u

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Sophs82]

Those who can’t, teach. Isn’t that the saying? I’m a hot mess! When I see things from an outside view I can give advice I just can’t apply it to myself somehow.

[Sophs82]

Yep same helping others is good for us sometimes takes our minds of our own problems x