Never enough

[Mask1976]

I think I will always feel like I am never enough! No matter what I try I always fail to get the type or amount of attention that I crave!!

[Hidden]

Right there with you!

[Mask1976 in reply to Hidden]

Then I feel guilty for wanting the attention!! Ugg!

[Hidden in reply to Mask1976]

Yeah. That's what I feel too. When I am having really bad anxiety and I need someone there for me I then feel like I'm burdening them.

[Mask1976]

Exactly!! Doesn’t matter how many times they say I’m not!! I get eye rolls, tone of voice like I’m a problem! But then I get told no that’s not happening!! Haha I’m not crazy!!

[Windy101]

It's really hard to get understanding from people who haven't experienced what you're going through.

Sometimes they don't know what to say and are afraid of making things worse, or they give advice that would apply to a person who doesn't have a disorder. Sometimes, they're even angry about being in a position where they don't know how to make things better and feel like too much is being expected of them.

With all the information around about depression and anxiety, I wish my family would just take 30 minutes to read up on it, so they can say a few comforting things rather than unhelpful ones. But this hasn't happened.

I finally just stopped talking about it to my family or anyone else who hasn't gone through it - when I want to talk I need acceptance, not judgment or advice I can never apply.

[Lostjoy in reply to Windy101]

Hi, I’m the same way. I have finally stopped talking about it with any of my family. I’m trying my best to hold it in, and deal with it myself. I can’t even talk to my husband. He gets angry and says things that make me worse. No therapy and no meds for me. I can’t afford any of it.

Best wishes to you all here

[Mask1976 in reply to Lostjoy]

Yes me too! Seems like it’s the best for them but I’m dying inside!! Most days wish to disappear so I won’t bother any one!!

[Windy101]

If you're in the U.S., there are always community mental health centers with sliding scales based on ability to pay. If your income is low enough, you may qualify for Medicaid, which will make your services free of charge. I hope things improve for you very soon!

[Lostjoy in reply to Windy101]

I’m in a tricky situation with my income. We have a business payment which is 2,600 a month with no write off for that since we are over the depreciation period. Adding that to our income I won’t qualify for any help. If we don’t pay that payment we will have to be in bankruptcy which we’re not willing to do yet. If I can’t get better there may be no other option. All of this certainly is not helping my condition at all. I’ve actually started drinking a little to calm my anxiety. I know it’s not good, but I have nothing else. I’ve always hated the taste, and still do. It’s horrible!

[Mask1976 in reply to Lostjoy]

Yeah, drinking is no good!! But I totally understand I smoke pot!! Use it for everything!! Helps once in a while with my pain but got lots of pain!! Need to have surgery!! Ugg! That’s an issue in itself!!

[Windy101 in reply to Lostjoy]

I'm so sorry. If it's any comfort, millions of people are in your same situation. It doesn't make you a bad person. We have a strong belief in this country that money = being a good person. But turn on the news and you know that's not true. Whatever happens, you can face it and survive. Being as healthy as you can, having your loved ones, keeping your integrity and dignity - those are the things that matter most. I know how hard this, I really, really do. You hang in there and keep telling yourself that there is more to you than this situation. Mark Twain went bankrupt! And he's my hero.