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[Boni2]

I have suffered from severe depression all my life. I have lived through many suicide attempts. I live alone with my dog, who is 9 years old and having health problems. I am so very lonely and broke that I can barely take care of myself. Today is the 22nd and I literally have only 1 cent in my banking account to last until the 3rd of November, when my SS disability comes.

[Travis1]

I do understand. I'm broke in man's currency but Rich on God's love. So, I just keep telling myself "he won't give more than I can barely."

[Boni2 in reply to Travis1]

Thank you but I lost my belief in Christianity a long time ago.

[Travis1 in reply to Boni2]

Boni, I do understand. I have gone through the fire and been through this flood but, I still try to keep my hands in God's hands. He will work it out.

[Parknstay]

You are not alone. I know when you feel depressed it feels like you are alone. You are not. I was away on a trip and when i came back I started getting this sudden feelings of sadness, prolonged and deep sadness as if a dark cloud of sadness is poured over me. I do see here that you maybe taking the "victim" role, by "assuming the victim role", I mean feeling so sorry for yourself and focusing your energy on feeling sad. Of course I am not a psychologist, nor an expert on depression, but I've have suffered intermittent periods of depression, and taking the "victim role" does not help. Think about what is good in your life. Your dog? The fact you could use a computer? Get out of the house, go to a park, join a volunteer place and pick something you have a passion for, and above all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Change it into loving yourself and be grateful you have survived all these year. Maybe the Universe is keeping you alive, so you could help somebody else. Find that person.

[BunnyMomma18]

im sorry about your pup. you've been through a lot. *sending hugs*

[Boni2 in reply to BunnyMomma18]

Thank you.

[Beth46]

I can relate to how you are feeling. I live alone with my 2 cats and hardly have money. I'm glad you found this site, their are some supportive people on here. Do you have a therapist that you talk with? What about group therapy? Feel free to message me if you would like to talk.

Beth

[Boni2 in reply to Beth46]

Yes, I do have a therapist, a psychiatrist and a case worker. I would probably be gone if it were not for them. I am going to start another group in a few weeks. Thank you Beth.

[Beth46 in reply to Boni2]

Oh good, I'm glad that you have a psychiatrist and a therapist. I know how it's like to have to much time on your hands! 😢

[Madison10]

Your post caught my attention. Remember tomorrow is a new day. Do you go out? Now that the weather is changing here, aa lot of people are suffering seasonal depression including me who has been fighting depression since my twenties. If you need someone to talk to I am a good listener. Hope to hear from you

[Boni2 in reply to Madison10]

Thank you Madison10.

[formygirls]

I"m sending you a hug! I understand the lonely feeling! I too live alone, with my almost 14 year old dog who also has health issues. Do you have family or friends you can lean on? I know sometimes people don't understand and also get tired of hearing about it, but if you have one person you can count on, call them and ask them to come over and spend some time with you. Good for you for joining groups and getting out!!

[Agora1 in reply to formygirls]

Hi formygirls x

[formygirls in reply to Agora1]

Hello!

[Agora1 in reply to formygirls]

Thank you, it's something how a smile can brighten our day. x

[Lostjoy]

Hi Boni, how are you doing now.