I did something bad and now I feel really guilty.

[candy120]

I did something bad and it is really affecting my conscience. The bad thing I did was a morally/religious bad thing and I can't talk to anyone about it. I don't know what to do. I have a horrible feeling in my chest and I feel like crying. I'm trying to block it out by listening to music and watching tv shows but it only goes away temporarily.

[Macen]

Hey friend, I obviously don't know what is weighing on you but I suspect I may be able to empathize. I may know what you mean about not being able to talk about something weighing on your conscience because of the moral or religious nature of it.

Those who don't share your religious values aren't good to talk to about it because they don't quite get your guilt, (they wouldn't consider it a sin perhaps) and those who do share them may shame you and be super taboo about it.

I come from a religious culture where things like premarital sex and pornography use are often super taboo and are difficult to talk about -- juxtaposed with mainstream culture which sees no problem with these things. This created problems because I was struggling with a porn habit but I felt isolated from people who could actually talk to me and understand me -- who understood my value system but at the same time wouldn't judge me and shame me.

It took a lot of courage but I found someone I thought I could trust and I talked to them about my struggles. That first step is what I needed to start really moving forward and eventually talk to my religious leaders and get a counselor who shared my values. I'm now in a 12 step program to work on my bad habits and I feel a lot of hope for the future.

Anyway, idk if that was at all relevant to you but either way I'd recommend you do all you can to build the courage to talk to someone about what's weighing on you. When you get it off your chest you'll feel a lot better.

If you want to talk more feel free to personally message me, I'm happy to offer support. Remember always that God loves you no matter what and wants to help you get past this. Take care.

[candy120 in reply to Macen]

Thank you for your reply and advice x