Money worries: My first post ever and... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Money worries


My first post ever and it is the most embarrassing thing. On May 23rd 2017 i had my first Panic Attack after a team meeting. I didn’t know at the time it was a panic attack. I thought i was dying my legs were numb my arms felt like ants and my chest was hurting and i was hyperventilating and i called 911 and the ambulance came and i freaked out even more and had two more on the way to the hospital. I now have them on a regular basis and on Aug 31st my doctor had me on intermittent leave of absence to completely leave of absence. I delayed going on disability because I’m only 30 years old i want to work for my home and responsibilities. But after my second hospital emergency my doctor took me out of my job; i have fallen in a severe depression since the start. I’ve filed workers comp because of the initial attack was due to insulting comments from management and following the report i was targeted. I am now in the worst situation, was denied workers comp. I have filed state disability since Aug, feel like a failure and the bills are piling up and I’m drowning. I asked my brother for help and gas money. I feel humiliated and degraded from all this. I forget to eat, I cannot sleep without Benadryl and I can’t even pay my therapist over due bill and my bank is over drawn and I’m going to lose my car. I’m praying i get state disability, they sa money isn’t everything or that money doesn’t buy happiness. Well when you’re broke and ready to quit on everything. Money can buy you help, for gas for food for medicine for a good therapist for your mortgage for dog and cat food.

8 Replies

I understand. I have the same issue about not wanting to file for disability. I went through all my savings and retirement. I'm glad you filed, and I hope you get it. I have heard some states just deny you twice before they will even consider it, so don't give up. Also, just because you need it now, it doesn't mean you have to stay on it if you start feeling better and that you can return to work. You are young and there's a very good chance you will get better with treatment. Good luck.

DuenasVi in reply to Gint

Yes, that’s what I want. Get better and be me again.

Hi- I just sent my paperwork for disability last month. I went through my retirement, and owe thousands on my credit cards. Disability would definitely help. I just hope it doesn’t take too long, but I have a feeling it will.

DuenasVi in reply to Karenk2

Yes, I’m worried too. Mine has been over month and half. I pray you get help too

Thanks, you too!

I totally understand about money issues. We are supposed to survive in this world, but a person cannot survive if we can't pay bills, or buy food. I feel hopeless at times also. I don't even have medical insurance that covers mental health. I don't qualify for any subsidies from the government, or free anything. It's a long complicated story.

I'm sorry you are suffering, and can't work. I hope you can get your disability started soon.

I am still working, but some days my anxiety makes me feel like I'm not going to be able to. I think (but haven't been diagnosed) that I have more of the GAD instead of the panic attacks. It stays with me all through the days. Sometimes it lightens up a little, but others it is over the top.

Praying for all of us to get better.

DuenasVi in reply to Lostjoy

Thank you for your words. It helps to know i have well wishes.

I think I agree with everyone here when they say we hope you get your disability arrangement soon so you can fix your financial issues. However, I also want to address the other part of your problem, and it's your panic attacks. I've had them as well and I know that when you suffer from those, it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. What I'm about to say might be difficult to read but you can't let panic control you. For what I have read, you are starting to lose control and that's a huge red flag.

I understand, trust me, I do, how difficult it is to take over your life when things just seem to be spiraling down endlessly. But, please know that you are important, this world needs you, and YOU CAN get through this. Tell yourself that every single day and don't let ANYTHING bring you down or panic and depression will take a toll on you.

Finally, remember that your brain is controlled by you, not otherwise. The moment you understand your emotions cannot control you, you will start to feel just a tad better, and that will help stopping your brain from playing games on you.

Remember, YOU are in control, YOU tell your brain what to do, YOU tell your body how to feel, and most importantly YOU will get through this. I send you a hug.

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