I don't know what to do

[littleone17]

Hi Everyone, I'm new here.

I am a recent college graduate, and former college athlete. I was extremely happy in college, living with my friends and had an amazing boyfriend. When I graduated, I became depressed. I don't feel like I am ready for the workforce and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I relied heavily on my boyfriend, who was still in college two hours away. I got a job nearby doing marketing, but I am really unhappy with it. I had been using my weekends to see my boyfriend and my friends, but was increasingly relying on my boyfriend to make me happy and was asking more and more of him. I was asking him to leave school and his friends a lot to be with me, and when he got offered a job three hours away from me, I fought him and asked him not to take it. I was so afraid of losing him that I tried to plan out a future for us so i could feel secure. After spending three days with him, looking forward to an anniversary trip up to the mountains in 4 days, he called me and broke up with me. He said he didn't know if he loved me anymore or wanted to be with me anymore. I know i drove him away because I tried too hard to plan a future for us that he wasn't ready for. I am not happy with myself and my life, and I relied on the hope of a future with him to get me through my own unhappiness. We are broken up now, and I am devastated. I have struggled with an eating disorder and depression for 12 years now, and I think it is finally time to get some help. Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you.

[km147]

Saying that you need help is (i think) one of the most important steps in recovery. Negative things that happen in your life can trigger these feelings and there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that. Good luck! I am no professional and no one on this forum is, but I hope you will come to us with updates on how you're doing! Hope you can find the help you need!

[DuenasVi]

I’m truly sorry that happened to you. My story is similar to yours and unfortunately we cannot rely on others for our own happiness. I cannot say things will get better soon because it doesn’t. It takes time and patience to find the true love of your life. You won’t find him tomorrow or the next day you have to work on yourself first and find something to distract you. It’s easier said than done but i have faith that you can over come this. Know that you are not alone, millions of people suffer from depression and we tend to associate happiness with another person but our true happiness has to come from within ourselves. Best of luck

[gogogirl]

Good for you- you have a job. A lot of people do not, and good for you looking to move forward. I know some old single people who are happy between work, friends, family etc. You are still young and in the process of exploring. I cannot give advise but I hope that you have the support of family, friends, and even a peer support group to help you get through the eating disorder and depression.