help

[embou]

hi im emily, ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for years now. I have been prescribed to multiple medications, ive tried receiving help from a therapist but i cant get past the fact i feel like its because my family (mom) just doesnt want to deal with the fact that im different. theres no one in my home area that is open about mental illnesses, so i was hoping i could talk to some people on here who have struggled like me. i take a med every day and seem okay until i skip a day on accident and it all goes back to step one. i havent had a job in over a month because ive been trying to adjust to this new med. i feel like this is all due to my bad decision making and sort of tough upbringing. im just trying to figure out if this ever ends. im hopeless and this is honestly my last shot. ive tried reaching out to old friends, but no one has time for my shit anymore. i just feel like its all my fault and im just bringing down anyone who is around me. please someone help

[kjay1]

I've never been on meds before but I know they can take a while to really start working. I do know what it's like to have problems that everyone else thinks should be so easy to fix. They don't understand how hard you try to just get through your day, let alone hold a job or get through school. I know that "one day at a time" sounds simple but it's true. The only way you can move is forward. Focus on what you can do just to get through today. What are the things you can control in your life? Start taking steps to improve those things. I do hear you talking about the past and blaming yourself for where you are now. Try to forgive yourself for your past choices. Like, picture yourself talking to the old you who made that choice (even if it was just yesterday) and saying that it's ok and actually forgive yourself. I know it sounds weird, but I read it somewhere and it actually helps. I don't know if I helped, but I at least want you to know that someone is listening and that someone cares!

[embou in reply to kjay1]

thank you so much i really appreciate it i needed someone to actually listen it means so much

[one-love]

I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before

[embou in reply to one-love]

i smoke on the daily it definitely helps

[embou]

Im not sure honestly i dont live in a state where its legal lol

[one-love in reply to embou]

What state do you live in?

[one-love]

Yes your regular doctor prescribes you medical cannabis but I also live in a state that approves it here in Florida you would have to check your laws to see if your state/country approves of it as medical use