Breaking down in tears everyday

I've been going through a lot of changes recently. Thought about quitting my elementary school teaching assistant job in June and in August made the decision to quit. I was constantly getting upset while working at my summer job because I didn't feel good about the future and it's uncertainties. I realized I was having problems with anxiety and might need to go back on meds. I was taking anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds for the greater part of 2006 - 2016. I thought I had persevered through my helplessness and didn't need the meds. Now I know I do. I've been seeing a psychiatrist since the end of August and will probably start seeing a therapist soon. I started Lexapro (which I've taken) in early September and just added on Wellbutrin (also taken before) yesterday. I'm stressed about fulfilling unemployment, packing to move, but most of all, getting out of bed. I had a very productive day on Monday when I got the key to where I'll be living, turned in a resume/cover letter, and visited with friends. I looked nice and was wearing a very presentable outfit. But while talking to a friend about what I was going through I broke down and started sobbing! I don't want to be that petson. So yesterday I spent most of my day in bed and crying. Did take the dog out for a walk and I know little steps are good (I just had hernia surgery and can't exercise much yet). Today I've been crying in bed and texting my sister who has gone through similar experiences. I have an apt this afternoon and have a lot on my to do list. I just feel so incredibly helpless and hopeless right now because I've been here before and know how hard it is. My hardest times were 9 and 10 years ago so I should be able to overcome this easier now. Trying not to be embarrassed and ashamed but i seem to be getting worse. I'm 30 and my parents are considering flying up to be with me. No, I'm not suicidal, I'm just so overwhelmed by life. I need help. I'm not embarrassed to ask because it's what I need to do. Please comment if you can help me. I just signed up for this site so my navigation skills are in progress. Thank you for reading this.

- Kaitlin

4 Replies

  • You can get though this too! Try to stay positive! Take the help that is what family is for .. the pay it forward..

  • There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. You seem like you are taking charge and recognizing you need help. That can be a very hard thing to admit, but it is a positive thing. I hope you get the help you need and start to feel better. As hard as it is, keep on pushing through. You'll get to where you need to be. Everyone on this site is very kind and caring. In some of my darkest moments, the love and support from others is what gets me through. I hope it will give you some peace to know that you are not alone.

  • Your family is behind you- that's huge. My late parents made fun of me when I was going through a divorce from my first husband decades ago. I have another husband!

  • Kaitlin, just got fired from my teaching assistant job. Felt I was treated unfairly. Been crying every day. Miss life I used to have when my son was little. I hear your pain.

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