Breaking down

[Tidus]

Lately, I cry alone in the car coming from work, I cried at work, it's not stressful right now but just so much time to think by myself it gets exhausting. I keep fighting so hard and sometimes it feels like I can't even tell the ones I love because I hate being a burden. I will keep writing in my journal and manifest a more positive reaction to my attacks. i may not be able to control when it happens but i can control how I react. It feels like I'm drowning so it's scary but I know i can do it. I'm just so angry all the time. Angry my meds don't feel like they help my depression. Angry at myself. Angry at my mind just SHUTUP. I hope everyone is having a better day. And if you are having a day like me tell me about it lol

[Hb2003]

What are 3 positive things about yourself? I am so sorry that your feeling this way - Hiba

[Queen_royal]

You have literally just summed me up and explained my situation like you are right next to me. It’s hard it is I haven’t tried the manifesting yet so maybe I should give that a go but I hope that you get the outcomes that you need in the end and going to hope the same for me as well. Keep your head up.

[Tidus in reply to Queen_royal]

Thank you I hope that your week has been somewhat tolerable. I keep pushing down walls and I feel like I have to keep repeating myself, and everyone wants to know how they can help but it’s all a losing battle. I just have to learn to let go and I can’t. I don’t know how. They ask how to help but I don’t know how to take care of myself, I have been taking care of others so long.

[Hidden]

Hi Tidus, I understand how you feel. I once was in that place but at some point it was just too exhausting to think when thinking wouldn’t solve anything. Telling others is a our mechanism to justify what is going on inside ourselves. Reality is herenow. Even we say it out loud what should I do? What would you advice me to do? But deep down we all have the answers. We already know what to do. By practicing acceptance and meditation I found relief in suffering. I’m glad you are aware of your emotion and that’s a first step to move your best foot forward. Hope u can be gentle on yourself and best wishes. 🙏

[Tidus in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much it means a lot. Yes I have been reacting negatively to a lot of things and reacting in a reflex arc, but I am trying to take the time to ground myself and take a breather and think about how i feel and if I feel like I’m acting on emotion to take a second and think about the fallout. Ex: Someone at work is being extremely annoying lol a)curse them out (fired)

b) punch (fired)

c) don’t react at all because it is a waste of energy and find a way to remove yourself, if you have to be there try to rise above it and tune it out.

[Starrlight]

You’re beautiful ☺️ I see how you help others here. I know what it’s like to have an overactive depressing mind. It’s like even though you are trying your best it messes with you. It happens to me. It’s been happening today. I take things the wrong way I think as I’m feeling vulnerable and it’s hard to let it out but I just did so thank you and I’m sorry you are suffering. Keep trying. Work with your mind. Try letting it flow. You’ll be okay.

[Tidus in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you and I was pretty much forced to go into nature today. Lol it was nice, but then once I got back to my car the anxiety began.

[Starrlight]

P.s. sometimes going into nature helps to reconnect, or doing art. Can you do something like that?

[bonkers65]

Maybe you should try some different meds. And try not to be angry at yourself. It's not your fault. Hope you feel better soon.

[unspokenwords]

I'm experiencing a lot of racing thoughts and anger as well. Journaling has been something I've turned to as well. I find its been helpful to surround myself around the people I love, even if I'm not talking about everything that's going on my head it helps to distract myself by being around others. Be well.

[endofheartache1290]

I know how you feel. I go through similar thoughts and feelings. I break down and cry a lot. Get overwhelmed by all that is happening. Then as you said get mad at myself for being stuck and continuing to think even though I know it's just hurting me. Take things one day at a time. Overcoming these patterns of thought takes time and it's not easy. Reward yourself for the small steps you are taking and don't try to overreach. That can be just as detrimental to your progress as doing nothing. But most importantly be kind to yourself and practice self compassion. Progress isn't linear and sometimes having a low moment is progress. I understand how you feel, about being a burden but you are not a burden. Your pain matters and if people love you the will be there to offer comfort to you no matter what. Keep moving forward and I want to stress that you are doing better than you think. You are valuable and your feelings matter. Take care of yourself friend.

[MarimerCruz]

Tidus, that is one if the reasons that I stopped doing normal work. I am working from home doing an online business. Where I have control of my schedule, diet, and health. I am sorry you cannot express yourself to your family. I am here.