I want to break the cycle of ups and ... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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I want to break the cycle of ups and downs.

ckw1
ckw1

I’ve been going through this constant cycle of bad days and days that are not as bad, every once in a while I will have a great day but they are getting fewer and fewer. The stress of daily life piled up with the anxiety and depression are enough to make anyone crazy but now I worried that I will never feel good again. Will this pass, is it just a phase? It sure doesn’t feel like it, it feels a lot more permanent. I need to make a change but I’m not sure where to start. I’m not even sure where to go for relief anymore. I used to be able to rely on relaxation techniques, reading or meditation to help get me through the tough times but lately those have been failing me. I’m starting to feel buried and overwhelmed to the point that it feels like I’m losing my mind. Just make it stop.

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Hidden
Hidden

Hi I'm in the same boat. If you'd like to rant, I'm here!

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to Hidden

Thank you for your support.

I know that something has to change for me, I don’t feel like I can endure this constant battle anymore. The mental torment is bad enough but now I’m having to deal with physical issues that I’ve never had before. I can’t remember the last time I had an appetite, my sleep is very poor and it feels like my stomach is always cramped up.

I know of some changes I’d like to make in my life but I just don’t know exactly how to go about it. I don’t even know if it is possible financially for me to make the changes that I want.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to ckw1

What kind of changes do you want to make that you think will help make your situation better? I'm guessing that you haven't talked to a doctor or therapist about your anxiety problems. Do you have family or friends with whom you can talk to about your feelings?

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to Hidden

I would like to change my job but right now that doesn’t seem possible due to financial obligations. I have been to several therapists and I’ve even been on medication for a few years but I had to stop because I couldn’t afford it. My family is very supportive and they are probably the only reason why I haven’t completely given up yet.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to ckw1

That is wonderful having a nice family. Also, the good news is that you have a job- I hope that maybe just talking through this will help lead you to a job that is a better fit for you. Perhaps taking a personal day or two to help sort it out maybe even at a career center. Some people who work in the field are also trained in a psych field so that might even help with other issues?

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to gogogirl

Talking about it does help but sometimes I’m hesitant to go to family because I’ve went to them so many times in the past. I feel like a bother sometimes even though they say I’m not.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to ckw1

Please believe them. That is what good family is for. Some people have "family" that really isn't family at all- in fact they cause more harm than good. I hope you will go. Please let me know how you are. Even though our society seems like going to other people is weak that is all a lie. People need each other.

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to gogogirl

Yes I know I need to utilize them more often and I need to quit over analyzing everything. I know that they want to help.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to ckw1

May you get the support you need, and have the realization that you deserve good support.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to ckw1

Poor you. I suffer with a bad stomach too. I only eat once daily, but at night. That sets off the natural process of the body relaxing and preparing for sleep.

Do you keep a journal? I find it beneficial. Offloading freely and privately is so liberating!

Do u enjoy reading? Make time for it, go to bed earlier. Stressing over only having limited time isn't good! I manage to read five pages, maximum, then I'm drifting. Make it part of your bedtime routine, it really works!!

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to Hidden

Yes, I do journal and it does help but not as much as it used to. Reading used to be a great way for me to relax but lately I find that I can’t focus and I end up worrying about all my problems

I think it's called life

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to gogogirl

Yes I agree with that statement completely. I know that I should not be having these issues with my life. When I compare my life to others, I know that I could be in a lot worse of a situation.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to ckw1

I am sorry- I didn't mean it like that at all. I hope you did not take offense. Depression and anxiety are not fun- believe me I know. You can vent anytime. Please do not feel guilty about your life compared to others.

ckw1
ckw1 in reply to gogogirl

No, I did not take offense at all but I do feel guilty about feeling this way. I’ve even felt guilty about going to a counselor, there are people who are worse off than me who could use there help a lot more than I can.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to ckw1

Ah yes- I sometimes gets the guilts also but for other reasons. Actually getting help is showing strength! Our society is so macho it's ridiculous.

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to gogogirl

So please get help- it's what it's there for. I have met some nice people on this site.

I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before

I've had similar issues for many years. Things seem to go along fine for a while and suddenly I drop into a trough of depression and it seems like the future holds no way of climbing back up to feeling "normal". All I can say is that these bouts of really being down eventually end and things slowly start to look up again. Meds have helped. Something else that's helped in my case is reading a book or two on what's called mindfullness and then putting some of the ideas into practice. Do an internet search on mindfullness and you can find a lot of information on the subject.

I know exactly how you feel. Last week was a complete blackhole. I couldn't be motivated to do anything and none of my usual coping skills helped. I felt completely done, and so tired of pushing through, it literally feels like every moment is an effort. Hang in there, sometimes i find when nothing works, just going outside or taking a walk around the block helps. Music, coloring, binge watching shows, anything to keep the mind engaged and distracted.

Keep going and know that you are not alone

I have the same problem. I probably always had depression, but it was manageable until a physical assault changed that and I descended into major depression as a result of PTSD. Yesterday, I got back yesterday from a holiday in Egypt with my family, but suffered an episode of major depression. It sucks that I tend to get depressed on holiday, away from the routine of work. I'm still dealing with it and will go to work tomorrow.

Like my current depression, your's will pass. Keep on meditating, exercising, listening to positive affirmation, and taking it day by day, week by week. There are so many strategies and promising new treatments. Remember: Everything is temporary. We are nanoseconds in geologic time. YOU CAN AND WILL MAKE IT.

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