Again

[EmbraceYourself]

I feel my depression starting to come back, I becoming antisocial again, I want to stay at home in bed and sleep, but I can't sleep and night, I dread going in public, It was my coworkers birthday today. I forced myself to go out with everyone, but the whole time, I just felt awkward, like I didn't belong. I just want to be myself again. One day, I'm confident the next I'm broken 😔

[blackcat64013]

Depression is a never ending battle after cycles through the good and not so flash days so don't beat yourself up too badly about being antisocial every now and then. It can be too much finding the energy to go to work and then out afterwards. When depression is bad, be kind to yourself and do as much as you can. If people only knew how hard we try

[Hidden]

Same here. I understand how you feel when you force yourself to go out, to do your responsibilities. You are in a group with people you know, yet you feel that you don't know them...you hear their chatter and you say to yourself, what stupidity, how can they not think of the meaning of life, not consider their own mortality, just going along and planning like they'll live forever...then you panic, you pretend, you may find an excuse to leave early and you go home, take off your party attire, put on your flannel nite gowns and go under the covers trying to watch a Netflix movie from beginning to end without another panic attack, without your raising thoughts...should you take a xanax to relax? No, no, because you cannot take xanax after you had a glass of wine...you wait and wait till you either fall asleep or till the right amount of time passes (I think it's approximately 2 hours?) so that you can medicate yourself because you cannot cope with life any longer for today....sounds familiar? That's me...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thats me too. although no alcohol and no leaving the house. Just one eternally long day/night.