Trying

Trying not to run and hide under my blankets and shut myself off from the world because I'm worried, scared, frustrated, and burnt out beyond other things. BUT IT IS SOOOO TEMPTING.

[ckw1]

I'm right there with you on that!!! I woke up this morning and I didn't want to face the world at all. I feel very weak and vulnerable and I'm scared that someone is going to say or do the wrong thing and set me off into a downward spiral of panic and depression. I want to just hide away from the world.

[Hidden in reply to ckw1]

That's how I feel. since I haven't been able to take my meds I try to keep to myself. I barely talk to anyone unless necessary. I only leave my apartment to work and I really don't want to do that but I have no choice. But I feel like trying to function is already hard so I don't want someone to alter my mood. Once I become sad or angry, I completely shut down. And I'm trying to prove that I am strong.

[ckw1 in reply to Hidden]

I'm trying to stay strong also but sometimes I feel like a fraud. Like I'm not fooling anyone but myself. I sometimes think that everyone would be better off if I wasn't in their lives.

[Hidden in reply to ckw1]

Bingo. I was questioning that idea yesterday. Like why do I still try ? Would anybody miss me ? etc

[Hidden]

It's tempting to do that, but you'll feel better if you force yourself to be more pro-active.

I find it hard sometimes, like swimming against the currant.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes, that’s a good way to describe it