Trying

[ittybitty2]

Always good with words, now, feeling like chocking. Am I too self centered? Too full of myself for feeling the need to express everything that I am feeling when I am feeling it? Why is it this much? I am so bored of myself, how will people stand me if I can’t even do that anymore.

Currently living in Spain, coming from south América, illegally... Jumping from house to house, problem to problem. Now, recently unemployed, with almost no chance of getting a job in my situation and a year more to go until I can legally work... If I can stay more than two months more.

A month ago I had that rare feeling that finally things were working out for me, I found a house where I feel at home, had a job that allowed me to pay for that house, started high school again, I was determined not to give up, also met the most wonderful guy on earth. But of course it was too good to be true, to be real.

No job, no money for rent. No home, no more life in Spain? I am losing everything. Does it really have to be like this for me?

[Nicesomebody]

I am sorry to hear you are going through so much. Please, take care. Crossing borders this way may not be safe. I am not an expert, but your post moved me. Did you check if there are some humanitarian agencies or groups can assist you?

If you can download headspace, please do. The app will help you to deal with anxiety. While you get your issues sorted out please continue talking.

[ittybitty2 in reply to Nicesomebody]

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer, I am aware that the way I arrived here was not ideal, but it was not planned either... Just result of more things going wrong .

I have been at this place called “the refugee center” but as the name says, they take more care about refugees (from Venezuela for example) and I understand that they are going through a way bigger hell than mine, al I decided not to insist much there.

Thank you again for answering and sorry if I have made any grammar mistake, as you can imagine English is not my mother tongue. I will give the app a try

[kenster1]

hi im sorry to read of your situation.im not sure but could you go to a local church for some help.you might get some help and information I don't know but at least you could try.

[ittybitty2 in reply to kenster1]

Good afternoon, and thank you so much for replying. Do you know if I can still go there even if I do not believe in any God? I don’t want to seem disrespectful

[rach1402]

Hi, I'm glad you've reached out to our community. Your new life sounds very stressful at the moment so you did the right thing asking for support. Unfortunately I can't give you any advice on how the system works or any legal advice but I hope you are safe and figure something out soon.

You mentioned school, do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm just a bit concerned for your wellbeing if you're very young with nobody taking care of you, especially if you're there illegally because you may not be able to access services like medical care. I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to imagine my teenage daughter in your situation and I would be so worried about her. Are you in touch with your family? I'm sorry about all the questions and making a fuss of you, reading your post has woken up my inner Mama bear!

That's probably good advice someone gave you about going to a church, they might be able to give you advice whilst also keeping things confidential. I'll be thinking of you, please take care of yourself and keep in touch with us on this forum. Even if we can't offer you any practical help, we are always happy to provide emotional and moral support. X

[ittybitty2]

Hello, good afternoon and thank you for replying to my post. I apologise in advance for any grammar mistake, as you can imagine English is not my mother tongue.

I am 23 yo. I came to Spain when I was 21. I know is odd to still be in high school being my age but that is Just how it is. I am on my last year though. I have family here, an uncle, but his wife had me as a maid/babysitter/cook when I was living with them so I can’t come back to that.

It has been two years since the last time I went to the doctor but the goverment Just granted me access to basic health assistance so I asked someone to take me there maybe next week because is 1.5 hrs away from here in a 10 euro bus that I can’t afford right now.

I am in touch with my family, I just don’t want them to worry about me since my grandpa is sick, but my dad is helping, sending money for food...

Thank you very much for the good thoughts and support. My name is Dani

[crowningglory19]

You are close to your goal, hang in there if you decide to stay. Do you want to go back to S. America? Would it be better there for you? What made you decide to go to Spain? Keep on keeping on, the goal is within reach. Nothing is impossible, focus on your wins, on your successes and more good will come your way.