Anxiety and Depression Support
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In love with my best friend

I have been in love with this man for 7 years now. We met and at time he wanted to be friends only...even tho we crossed over a little....he met his ex gf, and fell in love with her...she didn't understand his relationship (best friends) with me and he chose her over our friendship for she found out I was in love with him. He left her two times, each time coming back to me...each time implying he and I would try to make something work...this last time it finally came out that he loves me as a best friend/family and doesn't love me in a relationship type way. He has since met someone....who wants to know me because I am the best friend. He doesn't seem to see how devastating this has been for me....and i just find myself in daily depressed mode. help?

4 Replies

I was in this same situation a few years ago. I had a male best friend that I knew since high school. Well after 15 or so years we were both on the same page of making it more as friends and let me tell you that was the biggest mistake we ever did. We realized staying friends was the best way to go. Hope this helps


This sounds like a tough situation. I think you should distance yourself from him. He told you how he feels, so I would try and back away from him, especially because he has someone else in his life right now. If I was his gf, I'd be super uncomfortable around you, that'd be really awkward to know my boyfriend was with his best friend, ya know? For your benefit, I'd just leave him be and start dating. Take care.


Truly, I think a good friend who cares about you would not put you through all this. He knows how you feel. He knows how he feels. Yet it seems he keeps adding fuel to the fire to keep your hopes up. If a relationship with someone is devastating to you and causing you pain, then it's time to move on so you can heal and meet people who you'll feel healthier and happier to be around. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but he's told you how he feels. You deserve a whole lot better, and your feelings are trying to tell you that.


I'm no expert, but I live with someone I divorced several years ago. What!!?? It all comes down to whether you want this person in your life or not. We all need close friends. We can't always have Prince/Princess Charming. Cherish the gift you have. Don't fret about the relationship. Bottom line: are you happier with him as your best friend, or miserable with him as someone else's lover? Seems like an easy choice for your happiness.


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