Scared

[clomillsxxx]

Hello,

For the past 7 months iv lost myself, lost the person i used to be. It went from drinking my bad thoughts away to not even wanting to leave my house anymore or socialise with my friends. I forever feel alone, like everyone is against me and fighting a loosing battle of trying to be happy! I feel as if i went to the doctors for help, they'd just give me leaflets and tell me to go read them leaving myself feeling even more stupid. I struggle with my emotions and temper as well stopping myself from crying over the littlest of things. I lost a very important person in my life around 8/9 months, making me feel as if iv lost the person who gave me purpose to my life. I go through days of feeling better and fine to days of questioning how much easier it would be to just not having this pain anymore and to be laid to rest. I take each good and bad day as it comes; i go for walks, spend time with friends, see my family or simply just listening to music on my own to take my mind off things !

within these last couple of months iv lost more self confidence then i'd of ever wished for, over thinking every little detail about myself to the point i hate every single thing. Just feel like i'm loosing a lost battle against being happy, the chest pain you get when you hear/ see something you wish you didn't it there constantly and i just don't know how to deal with it ?! Being around people i don't know or speaking to someone for the first time makes me freak out, i just want to leave the situation and go home. I really struggle with making new friends in person and socialising amongst new people. Also taking it too the point i get very wary of giving people eye contact when speaking to them. Such as being out at the bar with my friends il do anything to not being around large groups of people or avoiding conversation with friends of my friends.

Can someone please guide me in the right direction and how to get help/ what kind of help i need !!

[leah_0600]

Hello abs so sorry you've been feeling like this. But you must go and see your gp as first point of call, I know it's easier said than done. It's clear you have anxiety but where does it stem from? Your grief from your friend passing? Have you heard/looked up signs and symptoms of autism? Lack of eye contact and difficulty socialising are two of the main signs. Just take a look it may ring true with you. I'm talking from experience as I also suffer from a lot of what you go through on a daily basis and I'm autistic (recently diagnosed with aspergers). Hope you feel better soon xxx

[Lizbett]

If you're in the UK, have you tried calling The Samaritans? You need somone to talk with ... especially a psychologist. You need to get to the crux of the matter although I suspension grieving a loss is playing a big part in how you feel. Thete is a bereavement forum on the site so check it out.

Your confidence needs liftiing ... if you don't work, are you able to do a little volunteering? SMALL purposeful steps and your confidence will grow with the right support network. Please do not isolate yourself and abstain from alcohol .... alcoholism is something you don't want to risk.

Do things thats make your heart sing at least a little.

Blessings.