I've become a hermit :(

Hey everyone. I don't leave my house unless I have to for the past 3 years. I haven't dated, don't talk on the phone or socialize at all. Now, I've started grinding my teeth at night..! I want to be able to change this but I don't trust people. I feel safer alone. Anybody else have this problem?

[Hidden]

I go to work everyday and do leave my home but I have a very had time trusting people too. I don't talk on the phone or socialize either. I only had a few friends. I fell out with one friend who moved to florida when she and her hubby retired. He husband never liked me so I had to break off the friendship. One moved with her husband upstate. My best friend just died earlier this year. I am an depressed introvert and have hard time connecting with people at all.

Sites like this wouldn't exist if you were the only one - I tell myself this too!

Diana

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am sorry your friend died. My father died a few months ago, sister died last year... Its tough! I work around hundreds of people but don't feel connected to any of them. Do you try to get out & change the way you feel? How long have you been introverted? Thanks for replying!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Been introverted my whole life. I do get out as much as I can daily. I spend time everday walking or jogging. It helps a lot.

Thx

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

What kind of work do you do? I understand the "connected" thing. I think the world has changed so much in a short amount of time.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I am a choreographer of dance in NYC and around the world. To them I am an Extrovert. They have no idea what I deal with when I leave work. I even have Cloastraphobia. LOL! But in a stadium full of people... I pretend to be 'normal" O_o

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Wow, what a special talent you have! Hey, what is normal- right? If you can be the core "you" then that is what is important. I tell myself that as well. I was born in NYC but did not grow up there. I remember going to radio city and seeing the rockettes during the holidays when I was little. Man, that was a long time ago. I hope that you find joy not only in your work but the rest of life as well. I hope that you have or find people in your life who know the real you. I am here.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you! Actually, I just cut back my days. I can't handle my 3hr commute to work anymore. The people, the cars... they trigger my anxiety like no other. I'm old now. I can't hide my symptoms as well now.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Wow- three hours- I can't even imagine! I don't blame you- I think most people would be very stressed by that. How is the place where you live now- is this where your family is? The way people drive now- especially with cell phones is insane.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I love where I live now. Family is close by, although they are my dominant stressors. LOL! What state or area are you in?

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I live in the Northeastern part of the US -New England. People here are pretty provincial. Meaning- if you were not born and raised here- they'll say hi to you and that is about it. I am not complaining- but those are the facts. How about yourself? You mention family is the dominant source of stress- I understand that can happen- sounds like it can be overwhelming.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

I should add this is a rural area where most things shut down around 6:00 - yes seriously.

[Lovequestion]

Hi, I can relate completely. I have not dated in five years and I don't care to change that. I don't have friends, extended family never understand my problems. And I stay in the house unless I have to go out. I do what I have to do and come straight home. I won't give you any advice, I believe that a therapist and other professionals should give advice. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Remember you are worthy of finding happiness.

[Hidden in reply to Lovequestion]

Thank you! I don't want to date either. Most people aren't honest with each other. They just play games & deny their true self. It's nice to know I am not alone... I appreciate you. How do you plan to live? The same way or change it eventually?

[Lovequestion in reply to Hidden]

I work on trust with people everyday. I would like to be more social but I am more secure at home. As far as dating goes, I have nothing to bring to the relationship, no trust, no love. I am still trying to learn to love myself. There is a therapy that helped me, it is called cognitive behavior therapy. It helped me to see the behavior I can change that others might find unappealing. I will keep in touch and maybe it will just be nice to relate to someone else. Message me anytime

[Hidden in reply to Lovequestion]

Thank you! It feels as though I have shut down my emotions. I used to hate myself too. Then I started watching The Secret & it helped me to change my negative thoughts faster. I realize now that I must love and trust myself. Then if others disappoint me, it's not so devastating. Yet, I don't wanna let anybody in. O_O Thanks for letting me vent... Be A Great Day!

[TNGW in reply to Hidden]

Just take it a day at a time. Make a goal list on how to get back out there. And check them off one by one. It's no hurry, but once when u notice your progress you'll want to do more. It's not easy....I know, but you'll see how much happier you could be. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to TNGW]

That's exactly what I just started, "The List". I find it helpful... until somebody triggers my anxiety. I won't give up though. Thanks for the positive words!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I understand what you are saying and where you are comping from.

BUT ?

Their are a lot of good people in this world also ?

Genuine careing with good values morels ethics and principles who are to be trusted ?

I'm sorry you have not yet encountered one or more of them but if you trust then you will ?

I would suggest time reveals what most folk are all about and you give any kind of relationship that time it needs to discover what the person on the other end is about ?

It would be sad to say the least if you lived your life without a friend at least .

[Hidden in reply to Lovequestion]

And you remember so are you x

[Hidden]

I can't get on line all the time and I just started on this site, but I think this may be one the places

to start to find kind people. Slowly but surely. Sometimes - no all too often most of the time it is the misfits and sufferers who are the nicest people.

[gogogirl]

I agree. However, what is a misfit? Is it a person who does not want to be part of the mainstream? I am feeling guilt now over all of the character flaws I have had from about forty years ago! ( Well, one was from about fifteen years ago). As my therapist says: It's the present that counts, and we are human. Sometimes, I think that we have to remember no one is perfect, and we all have regrets.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

I should add- maybe some people do not have regrets or maybe they hide them. I sometimes think of myself as being immature even though I am older. My therapist says " Would you say some of the things you tell yourself to a friend?" When I say ,"no." she says ( challenging me) then why not be kinder to yourself?

[Hidden]

I truly don't have any regrets. Only because, everything I did was nessecary to get me to this point. I had to mess up A LOT to learn all I've learned so far. I love me now... Even though I hated me then.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

When you say you have no regrets but you messed up a lot- was it mistakes- character flaws? I like your attitude. Are you a young person?