Things are getting harder to deal with

[Phoebe13]

I'm staying at my moms till Friday evening, its now Wednesday. I said before that i don't live with my parents and i live away from home with my boyfriend. I love my family but the area they live in brings up a very dark past for me and the people aren't so friendly either. I've been coping okay with it for the past couple of days but now its taking its tole on me.

I'm feeling really depressed and drained from the extremely long bus journeys home, my boyfriend who also is suffering constantly moaning at every little thing that happens every day (even the most simply things). I've tired not to isolate myself to much as i like to shut myself of in my room for the rest of the night distracting myself from the world around me. My mom constantly wants to talk to me which sometimes i find over the top but i feel so guilty if i don't talk as i feel it upsets her. I don't want her to know there's a problem with me but its hard to hide it.

When me and my boyfriend stay there we argue a lot, normally we never argue in our normal living conditions which i think its because of the stress. I don't know how to get this of my mind its a horrible feeling. I can't go back to my normal home till Friday evening as my boyfriend little sister is stay over and shes the living devil.

When I write on here it helps me get stuff of my chest as i feel in personal people don't want to listen/help me out.

[Suz65]

I know what you are talking about. What are you hiding from your Mom? Anxiety? Depression?

What do you think in your mind will happen if you tell her?

Depression and Anxiety do not make us any less of a person. We just handle it differently. My thinking is if you are honest and share with your Mom you may find she is your best support person. My daughter has anxiety too and I helped her. As a mother I would want to know what you are feeling. It only hurts you more if you hold it in.

You can tell her how you feel and let her know sometimes you just can't talk.

I feel pretty sure she will understand. You are worried about making her upset when the fact is it adds to your stress when you hold it in, or you give in and talk to her. You are keeping yourself stuck in an endless cycle that won't break unless you get this off your chest.

You can always feel free to message me. Not sure I will be able to tell you what to do, but at least you can vent.

We can vent to each other.

[Phoebe13 in reply to Suz65]

Thank you for your response but my mom is very blunt when it comes to my anxiety, its kind of like she doesn't know the best way to address it. It feels like shes just telling me to man up instead of trying to understand me on a personal level. I've been thinking about talking to her but when I do I forget what to say plus my boyfriend just gets annoyed when I talk to my mom about my personal feeling.

It's a massive shit cycle which I feel absolutely screwed.