I was having a good day until these negative thoughts started. Every time I walk into my bedroom and see my boyfriend I feel so unwanted. He's not even doing anything wrong.
I told him how I am feeling and he gave me a hug for several minutes, holding me tightly... So I sat down next to him and watched tv for a few minutes but then my thoughts started racing...
"He's looking at his phone because he doesn't want to talk to you
He likes his friends better than you
You're boring him
He doesn't want to tell you that he doesn't want you in here"
I can't stop thinking these things so now I've isolated myself in the living room. I went so far to even ask him to shut the door just so I can try to pretend he's not there... What is wrong with me? I'm terrified of going back in there but I know nothing bad will happen. I'm trying to work up the courage to face my fear but I'm just so... Scared...
I'm scared of being around people but not being acknowledged. And even if he were to hold my hand or talk to me, the second we stop interacting I feel it again. It sucks because I know that I don't have a reason to be so needy and clingy, he's a good guy and I know how he feels about me. Why do I feel the need for constant validation through affection??? UGH I wish I could flip the anxiety switch and just take a break for today.
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FixingThePineapple
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I'm sorry things turned downward. Are you listening to any music ? Sometimes I listen to music that makes me feel happy, like something fun and upbeat. Or sometimes I even turn on some cartoons or something that doesn't have any serious connection.
You know that all of these thoughts are not true... I do similar things and just changing my surrounding and the feeling of the room helps.
That's a good idea. I think part of the problem is that once I start thinking bad thoughts I make myself dwell on them without realizing it... I'm going to put on some music and do the dishes.
Hi the way to stop negative thoughts is to constantly interrupt them with positive ones. No one can be there for you 24/7 but your bf sounds lovely and supportive. Don't strangle him with your needs or you will drive him away in the end.
Next time you are with him and he is on his phone for example use yours, turn on the telly, wash up etc. Tell yourself firmly that he needs some 'me' time just as we all do. He wouldn't be with you unless he wanted to be would he? No one is holding a knife to his throat!
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