My goal today is to sleep. I can't take the thinking anymore, the depression, the anxiety, it's just driving me crazy. I don't know what is coming from where. I can't stand myself. And the pain. My strength is just diminishing and I feel so weak. Took lorazepam and am hoping it calms my head and I can sleep because I feel under attack. I don't know what's going on. I am trying my best but it's like I'm drowning. And to watch it happen to myself, I just feel that I am going to start freaking out which I know will not help. So angry and frustrated and feel defeated that this is just consuming me. Really hoping for help at doctors appt Monday, I feel crushed.