Sleep

[-Sasha-]

All my life I've struggled with it. It used to be just falling asleep, but now it's also staying asleep. It's also caused a lot of emotional issues for me as many would think it was a choice to stay up late or sleep at odd hours, my family included. They often talked crap about me because I'd sleep until noon sometimes, but usually if I slept until noon it was because I didn't get to sleep until maybe 8am. They knew I struggled with it but instead of taking me to a Dr or something they'd rather just talk about me and make me feel like crap for something I had no control of.

My sleeping problem only got worse as I got older. How could it not adding adulthood, relationships, 2 kids, afflictions, deaths, depression, etc. Not to mention the never-ending curveballs that life loves to throw my way. I learned to manage it a little better, but not well enough, until recently.

I found a combo of methods that work for me and was able to get myself on a schedule, which is a huge accomplishment. I was able to fall asleep by midnight (that's early for me) and wake up by 6:30am. I was actually sleeping through the night too, when usually i toss and turn, waking up about 3-4 times each night/morning. I was getting ready early, being more productive and trying to practice more discipline, while distracting myself with tasks. It was helping.

Now you're probably wondering why I'm going on and on about sleep. Well..... it's 2am and I'm laying here awake, when I'm actually tired and want to go to sleep, but no I have to be someone's alarm clock. And yes I do have to do this because my boys and I completely rely on this person. I'm just pissed because I realized my whole family and bf does this. They make me look and feel bad because of my sleep schedule, but don't hesitate to use it when it benefits them. I'm expected to stay up until 2am now and try to fall asleep as soon as possible after (nearly impossible for me) so I can wake up at 6:30am to get my boys ready for school. Then I'm supposed to fit more sleep, cleaning, getting ready, and running errands all before picking up my boys at 1. I'm just frustrated... and tired... and needed to vent.

Thanks to whoever took the time to read this.

~S~

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry you have a lot on your plate right now. But I support you and I hope things start getting better. I wish I could give advice but I fall under a body clock schedule which kinda sucks but I can’t help it but I remember I used to play games until like 5 in the morning then wake up for school when I used to live with my mom so I can relate a little bit.

[-Sasha- in reply to Hidden]

I was really just venting and appreciate that you even took the time to read it. I think it's pretty cool you have that body clock schedule. I've always envied people who have that or can wake up super early and enjoy the sunrise before starting their day. Anyway, thank you for your support and kind words.

~S~

[ChicagoGirl1961]

What were the methods you used to help you sleep?

[-Sasha- in reply to ChicagoGirl1961]

I have muscle relaxers, because I get spasms on the right side of my body, that I'd mainly only use when needed. With the cold weather I ended up needing more than I usually do, so I decided to take them every 8 hrs like I'm supposed to. I would also smoke cannabis before bed to help get me sleepy, and made it a point to not go on any devices before bedtime. I put my boys to sleep early, because i have a hard time falling asleep knowing they're still awake. Some nights, depending on my nerves, I'll have a cup of tea before bed too.

I never tried taking the pills as directed earlier because addiction runs in my family and I'm paranoid that I'll find the right lil cocktail for me and boom it's just downhill from there.

[mrmonk]

Although I don't have the same kinds of demands on my time, I do have trouble maintaining a healthy and productive sleep schedule. I haven't slept yet, so it looks like I'm back to keeping vampire hours. I just wanted to let you know you weren't alone.

[-Sasha- in reply to mrmonk]

Thank you. Funny you brought up the vampire reference because my mom often referred to me as that or a night owl. More so the vampire tho, because I've always loved scary movies. Its always been a struggle for me finding people to talk to during "my hours" so it's nice to know others are around. Thanks for your support and I hope you get some sleep today 😊

~S~

[mrmonk in reply to -Sasha-]

Yeah, I'm going through another Nosferatu phase...just opened the blinds and can already feel myself dissolving...🧛‍♂️

I fell asleep sometime after 6 am, got up around 11 am, which is good for me, as lately I've been sleeping in past 1 pm. I keep thinking if I can get through the day on very little sleep and avoid napping that I can right myself and get back on a normal sleeping schedule, but it's a challenge.

What kinds of scary movies do you like? Any favorites?

[-Sasha- in reply to mrmonk]

Ahh yes, I'm familiar with this stage lol I love that emoji btw. I joke with my boys sometimes and hiss when we step in the sunlight. They don't know any better so they still find me funny 😏

I sometimes think that way too, no napping just stay awake until a certain time then I can knock out and sleep good. Yea it rarely turns out that way for me. It is definitely a challenge.

Scary movies... I love Stephen King so Pet Semetary and It have always been a couple of my faves. You?

[mrmonk in reply to -Sasha-]

In high school, I sat in the back of my Algebra class reading a copy of It I borrowed from somebody -- such a huge novel! -- I failed the class, but finished the book, so my education wasn't a complete bust.

Stephen King is such an engrossing storyteller, though I've only read a handful of his innumerable books. Do you prefer the books to the movie versions? Pet Semetary, both book and film, were seriously scary -- the Zelda bits still haunt me -- but, my favorite Stephen King adaptations to film are Christine, The Mist, and Misery (add Stand by Me and The Shawshank Redemption in for good measure, even though they're not horrors). Those adaptations succeeded largely because the directors -- John Carpenter, Frank Darabont, and Rob Reiner -- are as good at their craft as King is at his.

Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is the first film to ever scare me and is also still my favorite. I saw An American Werewolf in London in the theater as a kid and it scared the crap out of me 😱, but it was still a blast. A more recent scary film I quite enjoyed was The Babadook.

[-Sasha- in reply to mrmonk]

😆 definitely not a bust, because you aren't lying that book was freaken huge. I think I read it in 6th or 7th grade. My dad had a whole collection of Stephen King books and I just read and read.

I almost always choose books over films. Although I do love seeing how creative directors get when trying to adapt difficult parts of the book into scenes. I love watching adaptations of books and pointing out fun facts about what they missed, etc., which probably makes me really annoying to watch a movie with lol

As far as my fave non-scary adaptations, Stand by Me is definitely my fave. Then The Green Mile and Dolores Claiborne. Misery 😍🤓 I feel like it makes me look crazy that I love this story, but it's such a crazy good story.

The first nightmare I remember having is because of the movie Psycho. It wasn't until years later that I even learned who Alfred Hitchcock was. And I haven't seen The Babadook yet. I've come across it several times but was iffy about giving it a try, think I will now, thanks! 😊

[mrmonk in reply to -Sasha-]

Sure thing! I'd love to know what you think of The Babadook when you get the chance to see it.

I first saw Psycho as a young boy. On one of many nights I was anxious (I've been mentally ill a loooooong time) and couldn't sleep, I came downstairs to my parents bedroom. They had fallen asleep with the television on and Psycho was at the climatic scene where Lila Crane (Vera Miles) discovers "Mother" in the fruit cellar. I just remember the sheer terror of the moment and how I felt my fear now had a withered, hollow-eyed visage. Like you, I really didn't learn who Alfred Hitchcock was until years later, when I was a teenager, when I started watching the television programs that bear his name. After that, I sought out his other films and have been a devotee ever since.

[Hidden]

It is not your responsibility. You and your children are your responsibility. You take care of you. They can set the alarm clock and get up. If they don't, that's on them. You are doing what works for you and your children, that's all that is expected from you. Remember, they can set there phone alarm and wake up like a adult. Be strong for your children, you can do it.

[-Sasha- in reply to Hidden]

I know it isn't but I can't help but feel like it is. He's my bf-ish (complicated 🙄) and my boy's dad. If he's late one more time he's fired, and I know that isn't my fault but we rely on his income. I don't bring in nearly enough to support us, but I've been trying to work on things to change that. I know he's an adult and this is his responsibility but he works 6 days a week (sometimes 7), at least 10hr days and doesn't complain. Things may not be good with us, but he is a good guy and adores our boys.

My mom tells me that I always make excuses for him and end up putting his needs first. I know I do this and it's frustrating because I can cut him slack when he doesn't deserve it but I can't do that for myself. I want to put my dreams and future first now instead of putting it on the back burner like always. But I don't know how to get past the guilt I feel for not fulfilling his needs.

[Hidden in reply to -Sasha-]

That's different, you guys are actually a family. You and him have to take care of your boys. Once we start having children, are lives, are priorities take the place of number one. I had 4 children and thought I would just stay at home for a few years and get back to my career, my hopes and dreams before having children. I realized a few years into becoming a mom, I had to and realized I wanted to and loved being a mom, my number priority for my children, me, my family. If you need to wake him up, wake him up. The days and nights are long and the years are short. Your kids are going to be grown up in a blink of a eye. Look at all the positive moments and there are lots of them, in the mix of the boring, hard work days and nights. Give your children the best, healthiest, not perfect life, up bringing you and their father can. Life is about them. Once they are big enough and don't need your attention so much. You can start to get back into your hopes and dreams the older your children become. And then all of a sudden, one day, they will be all grown and you will be happy you gave them your all that you could and you can do you. You will probably have different hopes and dreams a bunch of times and that is normal, life is always evolving. Try to get your rest the best you can and it is not easy. Don't get frustrated, it's the best time of your life, I speak from experience and you will definitely catch up on all that missed sleep. especially once your kiddos are all grown. Enjoy these years, the best

[gfranklin12]

I understand all too well love!!! Lack of restful sleep can cause so many unwanted issues to a already stressful situation😪😪😪!!! I have a sleep therapist. that has helped me so much, and most of the time without the help of medication. I hope and pray that you will get the needed rest you want. We are here for you😊😊😊!!!

[-Sasha- in reply to gfranklin12]

Thank you 😊