First time here

[AntonioAndEmilio]

Hi everyone. I really don't know how to start and I honestly feel kind of embarrassed just throwing my business out for the entire world to see but I'm not sure what else to do. I'll keep this short, try to at least. I've been through Hodgkins Lymphoma twice, as recently as last year and beat it again but unlike the first time, now I have this lingering feeling that it will come back and it's going to show it's ugly face in the worst way. It scares me so much that I have nightmares, I wake up and I can't breathe, my heart is racing, my chest feels tight at times, I feel like crying and I start to shake. Along with my personal history and family history of cancer, I also have a family history of heart disease. Mom had a quadruple bypass which led to a stroke a year later. I'd go to her for mental support but cancer took her from me in 2008 and Alzheimers took my dad in 2014 and cancer along with Alzheimers has taken all my aunts from me so I'm pretty much alone, no family to run to. Do I cause these panic attacks and/or anxiety to present themselves because I'm scared to be alone? After having spent so much time in the hospital last year for chemotherapy treatments and a stem cell transplant, I am dreading going to see a doctor about these new symptoms because I fear I might have to stay in the hospital again. After being alone in the hospital last year, I'm not sure if I could go through that again but I'm scared that if I don't get checked out, this will be heart related and I'll make matters worse, which give me alot of anxiety. I'm a HUGE mess. Does anybody know what I am talking about/going through?? Thanks for reading .

Antonio