Been dealing with depression since my teens. I was pretty good at covering it up until my early 30's then it just hit me like a truck. The blues became full blown suicidal depression and panic attacks. After 2 stays in the pych ward and an almost successful suicide attempt my psych doc has turned me into a chemical toilet and none of it works. Side note : is it a good idea to give more pills to someone that od'd ? What also doesn't help is not being able to talk to doc or the therapist openly about what's going on in my head without being sent straight to the ER for observation. It feels like not matter what do it's goiig to be wrong. If I'm honest it's off to the psych ward and if I not then I won't be getting the right treatment. So what do I do then? After four years in treatment I still don't know.