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[Wendysue64]

Hi. I'm new here. Nice to find support grp. I'm 52 yrs old. Have suffered from extreme anxiety/depression since childhood. Also PTSD related to traumatic childhood including an extensive history of sexual abuse from as young as I can remember. My now grown son (who thank god I raised to be a successful young man) is a product of my mothers boyfriend sexually abusing me over many yrs! I some how turned my life around. Became RN. BUT have been out of work now for over 2 yrs because for some unknown reason the ptsd, anxiety, depression just decided to become stronger than I am. I feel so ashamed, embarrassed, broken, defeated. I was able to overcome this shit for so many yrs and BAM all sudden it overtook me like a tidal wave. My life is falling apart. I'm going broke. On mds-they help a little. See therapy -she does NOT help at all. Why don't I change-well she let me see her for almost no $ when I had no insurance and helped me get SSID. She just sits and listens though-no tools offered no advice??? Anyways I'm at the point that I'm so tired. Don't really want to die but also wish it would all end! Thanx for listening. Any advice is welcomed!

[BonnieSue]

It appears to be more than time to move on and find a therapist who will actually counsel you. A counselor. You've been faithful to the present one but now you have done enough as far as staying with her and can move on. You desperately need someone who can help you by seeing that your meds are helping you as much as possible and that you're healing from the abuse. I think you know that your current counselor isn't doing that for you. This MUST HAPPEN. The abuse was very bad and you need to heal but you won't until you get the right counselor for you.

Why not go on the website of Psychology Today and just look around at the photos and the specialties, education, philosophies, sliding scale pricing, insurance accepted, etc. of each counselor and get an idea of who is out there? This isn't a comprehensive list but it's one way to look around. Also you can ask around for the right counselor for you. Ask your doctors and your friends and families' doctors who they recommend for a counselor. But you need one who specializes in child abuse, sexual abuse cases and that's uncomfortable to say. You could call any counselor's office and ask there who they would recommend who specializes in child sexual abuse cases for someone who is now an adult. That's probably the best way to go about it. You need hope and real help to begin to live your life again and be set free from your past. I hope you decide to live again.

[RENEENAY444]

Hi and welcome! This is a great place to get the support we need. XOXO!!

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Im not sure what advice to give at the moment but no matter if i can or cant find the words to help i will offer to be here if you need a friend or just a voice ill be here