Anyone (preferably men) could help me please with my boyfriend?

Hi everyone, sorry in advance for my bad English.

My boyfriend is 25 years old, he's a very talented musician from California, and he has a bipolar disorder. His illness is destroying us and despite this he's not doing anything to control it. Nothing: no doctor, no medication, no self-control; it's a huge chaos. We are really in love with each other, but it's like we cannot live our love. Right now we are in different countries, cause when we were living together we were always fighting.

I am desperately looking for a male person who is also suffering from a bipolar disorder and who would accept to write an email to my boyfriend telling him why it is important to control this disease when you are in a relationship. A person who is or was in a relationship and who can testify to the damages that bipolarity can cause in a couple if nothing is done to control it. It just needs to be written in a very respectful and nice way, and, above all, with very solid and rational arguments, cause this is what my boyfriend mostly needs.

He will really really appreciate it and he will read it carefully, cause I know he wants to be helped!!! He's suffering like hell, and I know it's killing him to see that he's destroying our relationship.

I would be so, so grateful if you could help me....I am honestly desperate.... It's a torturing relationship.

Thank you so much for reading me

Thank you!

With lots of love

Maya

3 Replies

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  • Hi this must be awful for you both and I am sorry. I think bearing in mind that everyone on here has their own serious issues it is a big ask for them to try so much to help someone else. This is not really the purpose of this site which is to give support to those with mental health issues online..

    There are no professional doctors/counsellors on this site and even if there were they could not and would not try and diagnose anyone over the net. .

    I am puzzled why a man or anyone writing to your bf would make him think twice before getting help? If he won't listen to you, family or friends then he certainly won't listen to a perfect stranger.

    I think the way forward is for you to tell him that his illness is destroying your relationship and if he wants to save it he needs to seek help. Why won't he? Is he ashamed of it? Does he think it means he is weak or something? None of these are true. The fact is he has an illness which he needs medical help with. After all if he broke his leg he would seek treatment wouldn't he?

    Doctors have heard it all before so nothing he could say to them would shock or upset them or cause them to think it is his fault. Can you try and get him on here and we will try our best for him.

    I am afraid I can't see a way forward for you both until he will admit his problems and seeks help.

    I am not trying to be negative, but realistic.

  • You cannot make someone help themselves. They need to "get it".. My intro to bi-polar was unknowingly dating and then living with a nurse suffering from this many years ago who would not stay on her meds. It was such high drama and caused so much trauma I had to break up with her to survive. It still affects me even today.. *You may need to disengage and move on.

  • He has to want to..get out of relationship... Wasting your time

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