School Issue

[1BrightStar]

I really just need to get this out. It may be long and incoherent but I'll try my best, I'm still a little shaky over it.

So today I was having really bad suicidal thoughts (to the point where I had a plan) and knew I needed to tell my counselor. So I went up to see her at lunch, and she knows about my situation with medication and that I've had suicidal thoughts before so I felt safe with her. Well because I had a plan things are a little different, which totally makes sense. So she called in a crisis team. Here's the problem, they took an hour and forty-five minutes to show up, that's TOO LONG. And when they did show up, it was two fully armed cops! No therapist, no counselor, just two cops. They said I had two options. They could arrest me and take me to a clinic where I'd have a 50150 put on my perminate record or I could go home with my mom. So here I am, a junior in high school, REALLY struggling to get through and two cops waltz in like I've got a gun and say they're here to arrest me! I'm freaking out. Luckily my mom was already at the school so she was able to just take me home, but that in no way helped my situation. In fact I had an anxiety attack afterwards. Not only that but while they were there, they laughed at me and said school is not a safe place to share my feelings. What the heck! You're actually discouraging me from getting help!?

It was scary and frustrating and I hated it. Needless to say, I'm hesitant to speak up at school again. I just really needed to share.

I don't mean for this to be offensive to anyone. I'm not trying to talk bad about cops, I know they do amazing things, and put their lives in danger to keep others safe, I was just less than please with how this worked out.

Oh and my counselor didn't know that was going to happen. She said they usually send a cop and a therapist and the therapist will talk to you and the cop is just there to make sure everyone is safe.

[HopingCat]

someone needs to call that crisis line and file a complain. That's not the way it should've been handle. The point here was to get you help not to scare you. I'm sorry you were having these kinds of thoughts. Try to relax and block all those negative thoughts. Go out and have some fun.

[Marquis784]

That sounds like a terribly frightening experience! I think if your counselor knows you she should be able to take appropriate steps to keep you safe without "drastic" measures. Unfortunately, when other people to respond to "emergencies" they may not know what to expect. Some people are out of control and need to be restrained. Clearly, this was not your situation. If your mom was in school that's where they should've started first. Sometimes developing a "contract" with your counselor can be a way to feel "safe" even if you have a plan. it can help to be accountable to someone like your therapist when you have those feelings. Your situation could have been handled better but I'm glad that you are somewhere they do respond to your concerns. It sounds like they meant well and took your safety seriously although the technique may not have been effective. You might want to have a "plan" or "contract" with your counselor regarding a plan going forward to handle these feelings. So, everyone knows what to expect should you feel unsafe. Feeling unsafe doesn't necessarily mean you need to be hospitalized. The goal is to feel safe not frightened. Best wishes!