Mom looking for support group so I can better help grown child

[Vyvy]

I'm looking for support groups for parents w/grown children who suffer from social anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, possibly bi-polar. Often, My grown child cries in the next room, and usually wants to be left alone. I've offered help often, but it isn't usually accepted. My child whimpers, trying not to be heard. I hear, and ache inside. Prayers seem to go unanswered. My heart is broken, and I'm angry at God. I'm so tired. I try to offer encouragement. In the past I have suggested therapy and received angry refusals. I feel lost. I think depression is contagious. How can I help?

[BonnieSue]

Your child needs a good psychiatrist for diagnosing and possible meds and a therapist for talk therapy to learn all about what s/he has and how to live with his/her diagnoses. You may need the same, it's hard to say. Ask around for a good name or 2 for referrals and also check the site Psychology Today as some psychiatrists and therapists publish photos, philosophies, education, specialties, fees, insurance accepted, and so on.

Gently suggest a doctor or therapist once you find one or offer to let your child select one. See what works. Possibly mention this site for communicating but only personal messages (pm) will be private from you so don't be surprised if your child doesn't jump at that one. A decent bipolar site is bipolarsupport.org. There isn't one here at healthunlocked. Your child can make up his/her own name and picture and you won't know it's him/her.

Any other questions? I'm here almost every day, so I'll be able to answer questions if you have them. I hope you and your child get the help you need.

[nmn1024 in reply to BonnieSue]

My 40 year old daughter is also severely depressed. She has a 6 month old to take care of also. I would like to see her get counseling also. She is on a lot of meds but so far they aren't doing anything except drugging her up. Any help would be appreciated!

[BonnieSue in reply to nmn1024]

Sometimes a depressed person has to go through a phase where they are drugged up. Sometimes they have to become used to the drug before they can tolerate it and they aren't so drugged up by it. But other times it just isn't the right drug for them. Everybody's different in how a drug affects them. The hard part is figuring out how long to give the drug a chance before declaring the trial period over. You can always report your difficulty to the doctor and ask the doc for an opinion on what to do next. This is what I would do now if I were your daughter unless she's already contacted her doctor and has been told to tough it out little longer.

Definitely when someone is struggling like your daughter is a counselor is a much needed person. And it takes time to see and feel how much it helps so getting an appointment should be done asap. A counselor can be of help with monitoring meds and getting your daughter the help needed to get the most out of the meds. ...And so very much more!

[nmn1024 in reply to BonnieSue]

She went to an iop for a couple of weeks but got sent home twice because of her hygiene. She would defecate and not know it. Personally, I think all the meds she is on is the reason for this. She is back in the hospital again and now they are suggesting ect. She is willing to do this and I am glad. I just hope it helps. She did counseling but wouldn't open up. Dcf made me give the baby to the fathers family until my daughter makes progress and I miss her so much. I am heartbroken over this.

[BonnieSue in reply to nmn1024]

This IS heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Please don't stop praying for we can't begin to understand what God's plans are and what each of us must do to take responsibility for ourselves and to cooperate with his will so that he can take even the bad and turn it into the highest possible good. Let's pray that the ECT is successful and your grandbaby is returned to your family.

I think you need a vacation from worry until you know for sure that the ECT didn't work. I'd count on it working until you have proof it didn't. That way you can relax until it's time to not relax.

I hope that soon you will have both daughters doing well. I know this is a most difficult time for you. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

[nmn1024 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you so much!