Lost and Confused

I have been struggling with GAD and Major depression for a while now. My first episode was when I was in my undergrad. I was drinking a lot do to unresolved issues from my past. I was also engaging in risky behavior and promiscuous activities. I lost my virginity to someone I didn't even know. I was skipping my classes and isolated myself a lot. I was finally hospitalized in 2004 and then was outpatient. I was forced to drop all of my classes and change my major. After I finally graduated in 2007 I jumped around from one menial job to the next. I let my emotions get the best of me. everywhere that I went

I had a relapse in 2015 after experiencing deaths, a horrible job atmosphere, and I began isolating myself again. I layed in bed for the majority of the day, stopped going to work and eventually quit. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist since then. I found another job that I enjoy, but it is mentally and physically exhausting. During the weekend I just want to stay in bed all day and/or do nothing. My relationship with my husband is diminishing and I have been forced to change therapists. I have been craving alcohol again and have had more bad days than good. I feel like I am falling apart emotionally and am back to isolating myself.

6 Replies

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  • Hi k..I'm sorry to hear what's going on..It's really a hard road with a lot of emotional issues..You are not alone in your world no..Others feel the same as you..The good news is ..You can control it..Yes you can.. if you can control your mind you can conquer any sickness..I not where I want to be as yet but my days get better..My marriage gets better.. Because when the negative comes I say no no not today..Today I want to dance..Enjoy a movie..I look in my head and remember things that make me happy..Once it makes me sad..I say not today..So get up thank God for his blessings..Smile look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are..Yes we the group love you and we know you can do this..

  • Thanks for your kind words, advice and support, Awanna. I am seeing a new therapist on Tuesday so I hope that helps. I know that things will get better in time. I still have a lot of issues to work through and I am better than before.

  • Hi Kakee! I can relate to some of your story. When I was an undergraduate my anxiety was at its peek. The stress of school, especially exam week, combined with a lifestyle of tobacco and alcohol, not to mention all the lost sleep when cramming and writing last minute papers was crazy.

    At that time I saw a psychiatrist, took medication for a while, and started therapy.

    Over the years from then to now, I managed to find things that were healthy (and hopefully calming) and avoid as much stress as possible.

  • Thanks for your reply msunday09 and for sharing your relation to my undergrad experience. That really means a lot to me.

  • Thanks for the kind words, Kakee. Today is Tuesday. How were your first impressions with the new therapist?

  • The new therapist seems to be pretty knowledgeable in her profession, she is also friendly and she already offered me good advice. Thanks for asking. :-)

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