Am I crazy?

[Deb2686]

So first I have dealt with a child who has a serious congenital heart defect. Learning thru the years that he won't survive and waiting for the other foot to drop has made me a overly panicky mom. He is 31 and doing "well". A miracle ❤️BUT I cannot control my anxiety for not only him but my whole family. And when something comes up for me I panic thinking the worst and then really freak out. I'm active healthy (I thought) and seemed to be doing better with my anxiety... then out of the blue I got shingles. I'm having a nervous breakdown 😩. Please help

[thebaseball2001]

Hi Deb,

I can relate to this on some level. I am sorry to hear your son has the condition he has. My kids do not have any known conditions, I am sure that would raise any parents anxiety levels. I too have anxiety issues and after my father passed suddenly 5 years ago, I began having a lot of anxiety based around the thought of losing one of my kids. I also have a lot of anxiety around me dying prematurely and how they would cope at a young age. I think the key here is control. We all want to have a feeling that we control our situations and that is even more prominent when we get older and face mortality or have children and face the thought of losing them. It's that realization that we lack control that scares us. The only advice I can give (and I am still working on this too) is to accept life as a whole. We are all going to pass at some point. God willing it will be before our children but there are no promises. If you continue to focus on the "what if" you will find the time you have together will be full of these fears and you don't want that. I know it is hard, it is hard for me, but you have to accept the uncertainty of life and be thankful one day at a time for each day. I have been dealing with these same anxieties about the fragility of life for the past 5 years and my son has gone from 2 to 7 years of age and the time went by like a shot. I don't want the next 5 years with him to be filled with this anxiety and I know you don't want to affect the time you have with your son. Try your best to accept the uncertainty and know that no matter what happens you will make it through but don't hold on too tight because you will just end up feeling a wreck like you do now. I'm right there with you, I understand.

[Deb2686 in reply to thebaseball2001]

Thanks for your reply.... I lost my dad 5 yrs ago and I was there when it happened.. it got that same anxiety ball rolling again. Idle time is the worst but usually I try not to think what if. Good to know I'm not alone