Ive known a long time that I've had depression and anxiety. But I've just now started to realize I have major separation anxiety from people I love and care about. Maybe it's because being alone makes my levels of depression and anxiety that much worse because it takes over my mind. Everyone tells me to find hobbies or do something I like. How do I find things I enjoy when I barely have motivation to wake up in the morning? Or the motivation to leave my house when I'm not at work. I don't have a whole lot of friends since high school either so I feel like I never have anyone. I'm always alone. I don't want to be the kind of person who can't be alone. I hate to live like that. And I know it puts a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend because he's the only one who hasn't given up on me and really the only person around me enough to lessen my anxiety. I don't want to be putting that stress on him too. I hate that. Sometimes I wish I was a different person. That my depression didn't exist. That my anxiety didn't exist. I hate myself so much. Because I can't seem to get away from it no matter what I do. I miss being a child. Before I ever felt the way I do.