1/21/17
Today I am feeling even less than normal. I had to call in to my job because I've been sick. But Ive had to call in so many times in the past because my anxiety and depression have been so bad that I have no motivation to get out of bed. I feel like I'm suffocating everyday. I dont know what to do. I
Are you seeing a psychiatrist and going to counseling? If not, why? You can put an end to this by getting treated and feeling better. You should be able to go to work and do normal things once you get on the right medicine and get steady with it and the counseling will help you cope with different situations and the drugs you may take. So get going and get over this feeling bad!
I saw a psychiatrist when I was 15 but it was hard for me to be comfortable with it at that age. Mostly because I thought at that age it was just a stage and I would get over it. I haven't seen one since then. I just don't even know how I could go about explaining it. I feel like I'm failing myself by seeing a doctor. Which I know isn't a rational thought. Nobody I know really understands what I'm going through all the time. So I don't think anyone around me really believes it's an illness. Which makes it so much harder.
I know what you mean, but waiting to get well until other people understand you doesn't make sense. They can't understand what they haven't experienced. That's just natural. Would you understand what it feels like to be diabetic or have a heart attack? Would you expect someone in your family to hold off treatment for these problems until you understand them? Probably not.
You need treatment for anxiety and depression that's seriously affecting your job performance and your life. Your depression and anxiety have been around for years and aren't going away on their own. So now is the time to do something about it. You have chemicals in your brain that are out of normal balance and you need to have help to correct that balance. That's why you need a psychiatrist who specializes in this part of medical practice and a counselor who helps you deal with this and with coping with the problems that this brings into your life. Both are important to your recovery.
I've felt good for many years even though I have your problems. I've been on both anxiety and depression meds and do very well. There's no reason you can't be happy and peaceful, too. You can learn to expect other people to respect your position that you have a medical problem and a need to be treated appropriately without them second guessing your decisions to be treated. Expect to be respected and don't try to justify yourself and your treatment to anyone. They simply aren't going to understand what you're doing and what your needs are. I hope this is making sense to you.
Best wishes for your good health!
Take advantage of your employer's EAP. Meet with HR and take advantage of short or long term medical leave. You don't want to lose your job over this. Get help from a therapist too.
EAP is good for keeping your job. But it ends with about 5 appointments usually and you will need more than that. So be prepared to find a good counselor for after EAP ends.
Just another day
Another Day
Another day in hell
Another tough day 
Father's Day
