27 years old, vicious anxiety that came out of nowhere six days ago.

[MattWantsHelp]

My name is Matt, I'm 27 and a grad student at a university back east. Friday was our last day of class where after I went home, packed up my luggage, picked up my girlfriend, and we started on a 4 day road trip to celebrate.

While driving that night, we were coming down a mountain pass and my hands broke out into sweat and I got light headed. I brushed it off as elevation change, but then it happened shortly after, then again as we got into Richmond.

That night, I couldn't sleep. Kept waking up, chest burning, thoughts running everywhere. When we both woke up in the morning, I felt okay and we set out to explore the town. We had lunch somewhere that afternoon, then got in the car to drive to the river walk and it happened again, intense anxiety and dizzinesslike I was gonna pass out. We arrived at the river walk and the whole time I felt scared and my chest hurt so bad.

I had her drive the rest of the evening. We went back to our airbnb to rest and get me to relax before heading out for dinner and to a comedy show thinking some laughter will relax me. It didn't. The room was dark and I was uncomfortable and scared. The sounds were piercing and drove me crazy. That night I could hardly sleep.

Woke up the next day, felt great, we made breakfast and as soon as I took my first bite, anxiety exploded. We went to a museum, then decided to head to Charlottesville for the second part of our trip. On the way there, I had her take over because of the stabbing pain in my chest and arm and we went to the ER.

EKG, chest xray, blood tests, it all turned up good. They wouldn't say it was anxiety. We left and I was a mess for the rest of the day. At the end of our dinner, my chest and head were spinning and I couldn't open my eyes.

That night, things peaked. We got into our room and I was shaking and scares like hell. I decided to take a hot shower and shave off my beard. Didn't help. Girlfriend gave me a massage and I was anxious the entire time. We decided to turn out the lights and he'll broke loose. I fidgeted, rolled around, held myself, sweat, and shook. I was so scared.

I got up, called my mom and told her what was happening, and then burst out into tears. I couldn't stop crying. I don't know why this is happening to me. After our talk, I took and long hot bath, then crawled into bed with my girlfriend and fell asleep. I slept pretty well.

Had anxiety all day the next day, we drove up to DC because we were both flying out the next day (I was flying back home to California for the holidays). I felt on edge the whole time. I took another bath at the hotel and felt good, got all our stuff ready, then got into bed. When she turned out the lights, fear washed over me and I broke out into a sweat and chest pains. Eventually fell asleep.

Slept for half the 6 hour flight, was tense the rest of it. Took the train to where my mom, sister, and brother in law were waiting for me. We got into the car and I just cried and cried and ctied for the 4 hour trip to my hometown.

I don't know what happened to me. I want it to stop so bad. When we got to my hometown, my mom and I went to the ER, got lucky enough to see a PA she used to work with, and he prescribed me 21 pills of 1mg Ativan.

They gave me one and for the first time in 5 days, I felt like a normal human being. I still had a twitxh, but I felt normal. I slept that night easily, but woke up at 430am with anxiety after a dream about my girlfriend cheating (this has never been a worry for me). Got up and split the Ativan pill and took half of one. Calmed down, but still on edge.

I did a 25 minute set of yoga on YouTube and felt good, then put on my running shoes and ran for 3 miles. Met with bro in law to shoot guns, then spent the day at his and my sister's place. I felt pretty good, took a nap for an hour and a half at about 130pm, then ran errands with them. This is the best I've felt since five days ago.

Then, last night, as I got ready to sleep, anxiety washed over me. Bad. I got up and went to YouTube and found another yoga video. I felt good by the end of it, put on some positive meditation music, and drank sleepy time tea (I've never ever been into this hippy stuff before, but I'm at wits end). I had hundreds of thoughts racing as I went to sleep, so I took the other half of the Ativan and after about 45 minutes, fell asleep for 3 1/2 hours.

I woke up this morning at 430 with my whole body on fire. My head is out of place. My chest aches. I want to cry. Six days ago my life felt perfectly normal and now it's upside down and I'm scared and hurting all day. I plan on flying back to Virginia early of this doesn't get better and see my doctor for antidepressants and find a therapist to help me.

I can accept I have a mental health problem. I will do anything to make it better. I've worked hard to be where I'm at and don't want to lose everything by going crazy. I want to be me again. What did God do to me. Why has everything crashed so fast and taken away this time I should be happy.

Will I get better? Will I be me again? I've read many of your stories tonight, some of you dealing with this for six months. I can't do that. It's been less than a week of constant anxiety and I feel like I'm losing it and I've lost who I am. I want my doctor to help me. I want me to help me.

[jenna42]

I feel your pain. Find a psychiatrist as soon as you can as well as a therapist. They can help.you. Unfortunately, not always a quick fix, but you might get lucky and find some meds on the first try that help you. Keep up with the yoga and exercise. I find that helps a lot. There is always hope. Hopefully, this is all temporary and your therapist can figure out what triggered it. You had a lot going on at once when it started. Even though, they were all positive things...you may have triggered a stress response in your body. Meditation is something else you can try. There are a lot of beginner meditation videos online. Good Luck! I wish you the best!

[MattWantsHelp in reply to jenna42]

Thanks for the reply. I spent time with my friends most of the night last night and I felt normal again despite chest pains. I missed it. They stayed the night so they could be with me through the morning and day and I've felt much better, I only had two anxiety buildups. I'm meeting with my pastor thus afternoon and talking to her.

What's your experience with this and treatment? I'm visiting home for a month before I can go back and find a psychiatrist where I live. I'm thinking about going back early if it doesn't get better, but being with my friends is making me feel really good right now.

[jenna42 in reply to MattWantsHelp]

Being with friends is good and when you feel it coming on, take skow deep bteaths to calm your central nervous system down. I have had ove r 20 years experience with anxiety, depression and ptsd. It started with panic attacks. The 1st drug I tried was zoloft and between that and therapy I learned to control the attacks. Through mindfulness and breathing, I can stop them. In the beginning, they can exhaust you. Also, if you worry about having one, it sometimes triggers an attack. So, that is a habit you want to break. I have a lot to say, but not enough time. I do encourage you to make an appointment now for when you get home, because sometimes it takes a while to get an appointment. Thr best of luck to you!!!

[MattWantsHelp in reply to jenna42]

Thank you so much, you're giving me hope. I just want my normal life back again. Merry Christmas.

[BonnieSue]

You're on the right track, just make the appointments with both a Dr. and a therapist for asap and keep them. Make sure you have both a good Dr. and a good therapist or you'll need to change them. After a few app'ts. you'll know if they're good for you or not. You can get through this and lead a normal life. You will need an adjustment time period from the onset of symptoms until your body is running smoothly and no one can tell you exactly how long that will be. You're doing the right things and I wish you well. Merry Christmas!

[CaptainMorgan]

Hi MattWantsHelp

Any update? How are you feeling?

I wanted to share my story with you to give you some hope. When I was 22 I was living with my dad in San Diego getting ready for law school. I was working an easy job and surfing all day. It was great. One day I came home from surfing and all of a sudden had symptoms like you mentioned - almost identical. I thought I had a gauntlet of things. I didn't want to take any "meds." I went to an ND for about a month and it didn't work for me. I went back to my grandma's house in Utah and went to my old doctor and told him the story. His first response was "it's panic disorder" but he ordered an EKG, blood tests MRI, etc - all negative. He put me on celexa and withing two weeks I was 80% back to good. I stayed on celexa for awhile but it had some sexual side effects (I couldn't achieve orgasm). I switched to Zoloft 50mg daily. I am now 33 and the reason I'm back on this site is because my horrible feelings returned out of the blue. However, I'm going to deal with that and what I want you to take from my story is I have had 10 years of being symptom free 90% of the time. It's easy to feel like your case is different (I always thought that - what if it doesn't work for me?) But it did. This is a horrifying disease that people who haven't experienced it cannot understand. Sometimes, as a man, it is hard to find sufferers as men don't talk about it as much and it tends to hit females slightly more. If you open up though you will see it's more common than you think. Couple of my friends told me they experienced it too and quite a few are on antidepressants and I didn't even know. Bottom line is you will get help, you will get better, you will live a normal life again. Hang in there.

[MattWantsHelp in reply to CaptainMorgan]

I will be writing an update tomorrow morning. Thank you so much for your story, it's actually brought me comfort (I've been reading some horror stories on this site that have been making my stomach ache just reading). Your response really meant something to me.

[CaptainMorgan in reply to MattWantsHelp]

My pleasure, Matt. I was in almost your exact shoes so take it from me it will get better. I know the feeling is beyond description, but there is light at the end of that tunnel, I promise.

[Erica-Leah]

I am here because of a friend who is feeling a bit similar to what ur feeling. Do you think your grad studies is triggering it? My friend dreads the dissertation writing, and he has panic attacks often.