So last night I summed up the courage to go out with my girlfriends for dinner. Dressed up, looked good and all, drove myself there, no anxiety whatsoever
However there was this dull dark depressing feeling.
I felt everyone isn’t real
I don’t know how to explain it
I couldn’t enjoy it because I felt this profound sadness and this feeling of a huge distance from people, that they aren’t real, and then thoughts of where did we come from and where will we end going, even the surrounding seemed unreal, not like I couldn’t recognize it, I could, it just felt lifeless.
All I could think of is going to bed and sleeping, but I continued the night with them
I felt flat
I don’t know how else to explain it
And for the first time - I always get this thought but this time it didn’t bother me- I got the feeling how I really want to die and see what’s on the other side.
I came home took my pills and slept, woke up with a headache and the same blunt feeling.
Please reply to me because I don’t think I have felt this emotionless ever before.