Concerned parent

[Ndry]

My 26 year old son has developed a severe anxiety disorder with depression as well as an eating disorder and a love addiction. The past 3 years have been hell for him as well as our family. We've gotten him the best medical treatment possible yet he is a non believer of medications which he believes caused all of his problems from the beginning. I am thankful to of found this sight as it can help me understand how he feels. This has taken all of his joy away as well as ours. Any advice or support is greatly appreciated. I pray to be supportive yet not enable him. Being a parent I feel as if I should know how to help him or fix this but I am powerless. I believe in a universal love/ God and that helps!

[GloriaL17]

I believe you being there when he needs you is the biggest help you can give him. I don't know what I would do without the support of my mother or husband. Why does he feel medication is not the answer for him? I've had anxiety and depression off and on for over 20 years and medication is the only thing that helps but it takes time. It's not a quick fix. Sometimes meds can make the symptoms worse before they get better.

[Ndry in reply to GloriaL17]

Thank you for responding! He does a lot of research and is always looking at the side effects of meds. He was on different meds over the course of 3 years but never felt normal so he'd always stop taking them against all drs advice. He is always discounting what the drs say and believes there is something else wrong physically. The past three years we have been to every type of doctor from cardiologist to gastrointestinal people to psychiatrist and therapist to holistic and he's healthy he's having a hard time excepting that all of his physical symptoms can really be due to anxiety. He's a wonderful beautiful intelligent human being and it breaks my heart to watch him suffer so much . My prayer is that he will except that he has an anxiety disorder and not be ashamed of it and seek the support and the help he needs. We begged and pleaded for him just to take something to take the edge off but he won't and therefore we have no control because he's 26 years old.

[GloriaL17 in reply to Ndry]

I can completely relate. I still to this day have a hard time resuming my meds when I need them. I read all the side effects of all meds! Not just my anxiety medication. I'm currently taking 20 mg of Prozac and use Xanax when needed. Lately I feel like I need alot of Xanax so makes me believe that my Prozac isn't working. I just started Prozac not even a month ago. I know that it needs more time but I can't stop the worry that it may not work at all this time and of course I read all the side effects and it doesn't help even with all my experience with the drug. I guess what I'm trying to tell you it's just part of the disease. He's not the only one who doe that.

[Ndry in reply to GloriaL17]

I will be keeping you in my prayers and you are important! You matter! I e always told my children to listen to their God voice and trust themselves. You do the same. I'm sorry you are in fear and having doubts. The universe has your back and you deserve joy and happiness. Believe in your present and in your future!

[GloriaL17 in reply to Ndry]

And you and your son will be in my prayers.

[Ddorne]

I was depressed when I was 19.i also have OCD. I am 60 now and it's important for me to be in therapy and take meds. Your son will recover.He needs meds though. Or therapy very often. He lives with you? That's good. It sounds like you are a part of his recovery. Write often.

[Ndry in reply to Ddorne]

Thank you for responding. He moved back home due to the fact he didn't feel safe alone, he said he was scared he'd die, faint etc. the anxiety disorder has made him less independent and more dependent. I wish he would get on this support sight because so many people deal with this and he could realize that he's not the only one! The goal is for him to have a support system that allows him to be independent. He is resisting meds, refuses. He's not making his therapy appts, it's frustrating. Part of this disorder involves resistance, denial.

I will share with him this reply if you don't mind. I will keep you in my prayers as well. Thank you again.

[silverbeatl in reply to Ndry]

I too struggle with depression and anxiety and over the years have tried many meds. The side effects were all so bad that I stopped taking them. My quality of life was just so poor on meds, that I felt that it was the best decision for me. Doctors just don't understand because they're not the ones having to take the meds and dealing with the side effects. I also am not into going to therapy because I just don't trust that what I say will be kept confidential. Most likely he's not in denial. I'm sure he knows how bad he feels. He just has has to find solutions that work for him. I would say, just be as loving and supportive as you can without trying to force your son to do something that he is not comfortable with. Tell him that you love him no matter what and that you'll always be there for him.

[Ndry in reply to silverbeatl]

Thank you! I do not want to force him. I just wish he knew how awesome he is!

[silverbeatl in reply to Ndry]

Just keep telling him all the things that you love about him.

[Freekat]

I am 24yrs old and suffer from serve anxiety i moved back in with my parents and much like your son refused a lot of help. I realized if i knew what help was then id be better. But i had no idea what help looked like. I thought many times something had to be really wrong why would i feel this way after yrs of going on meds stopping refusing i had to give in i now go to therapy and am starting meds its not an easy road and at times its exhausting and seems for nothing. Everyones journey is different. It took a lot of defeat for me to accept my problems and work towards a solution. Hope your son can do the same. All the love and support helps tremendously. He is not alone none of us ever are.

[Ndry]

Thank you! Today is better. It is a roller coaster of ups and downs but today is good. Love and support are important. I hope you are having a good day!